am i being a bad mum when i dont help my dd after she falls?

[misdee]

bit of background first. dd2 has a problem with her walking. she stumbles a lot, ankles seem to give way and loses balence easily. she is 20months old and has been walking since 10months old. back in jan i asked for her to be referred to the hospital as in my eyes she should be getting better at walking not worse as time goes on.
Anyway, i have now let her out of the buggy for small walks round town and at dd1 nursery. as she falls a lot, she has gotton good at falling (she tends to do what we call a 'clown roll' when she falls so she doesnt hurt herself) i dont rush over and help her up. i just tend to say 'oops, up you get luv' and let her do it herself. she often gets up and promptly falls back down, so again just leave her to get herself up. I find if i do help her up she finds it even harder to regain her balence. however I have noticed some odd glances coming my way, and some people rush to help her up giving me an evil look for not helping my child. Its not that i'm lazy and dont want to help my child, its just i know she finds it easier to get herself up and not rely on me, like i say she finds it harder to regain balence after being helped up.

[KateandtheGirls]

The answer to your question is "No".

Ignore the people who don't even know you and your child.

[misdee]

she cant do steps well at all, on holiday to the dance floor on some sides were 3 steps. she looked at them, then rolled down them. some people were shocked and thought she hurt herslef, but she just cant walk down steps easily and found this the easiest way to deal with it.

[strangerthanfiction]

misdee, my dd is 19 months and still tumbles quite a bit and is nowhere near doing steps without my help. She also started walking relatively early, around 11 months. I've found she's more wobbly at the moment because I think she's trying to go faster and her attention is less on the act of walking than it is on where she's going / what's happening around her, than it used to be when she was first walking.

In terms of other people I'd just totally ignore them. My dd is a so/so faller, sometimes she makes a real fuss and others she just picks herself up and I think the latter is by far the better.

[misdee]

she does actually throw one leg out, the HV has confirmed this, and you can see her ankles give way as well.

[rsv1000r]

My ds has mild cerebral palsy so he toe walks and he also trips and falls quite a bit - I also leave him to get up on his own after a fall, unless he is crying - my advise is also to ignore people who don't know you or your child and the circumstances. You really should push for an appointment with a paediatrician though to rule out anything more serious.

[toddlerbob]

I ignore my toddler when he falls because he has an amazing pain threshold and simply rights himseld and gets on with it. I spend 24 hours a day with him and will know the one time in 100 that he needs a hig after falling. Other people look horrified that I am so uncaring, but I know that I hug and kiss and cuddle him to bits when he is in the mood (at home where nobody can see generally)and that's all that matters.

Ignore them, putting myself in your dd's shoes I would not want to be fussed over and made to feel different. If you always provided loads of assistance she may become afraid to fall over because then you would help IYSWIM. Falling over when tense would be miles more painful for her. Again ignore them.

[HiddenSpirit]

With DS1 & DS2 I just said "up you get" anytime they fell (unless they really did hurt themselves). They are fine when they fall etc now and will just pick themselves up, dust themselves off and carry on from before (again unless they have really hurt themselves).

DD is a different matter. When she was young, DP and his ex (DD's real mum) used to make such a fuss if she fell over that now (I hate to say this about her, but only way I can think to decribe it) she is a cry baby. Least little fall and she will howl (even though you know it wouldn't have hurt her) such as the time she tripped and fell on a teddy (a big soft squishy one at that). You would have thought that she had fallen on a bed of nails!

So in my opinion (even if she does have a little bit of a problem with her legs/ankles) you are doing the right thing in teaching her that it's not a big deal

[mieow]

mISDEE, YOU KNOW HOW i DEALT WITH ds, JUST IGNORED THE FALLS AND TOLD HIM TO GET UP, AND HE HAS CP

[Ghosty]

Agree with HiddenSpirit. My DS is a bit of a cry baby and totally over reacts when he falls over ... they have commented on it at Kindy - he has a blood curdling scream and everyone thinks he has chopped his leg off and he doesn't even have a graze ...
I am ashamed to say I think it is my fault ... I was a bit neurotic when he was little and used to make a big fuss when he fell ...
I am now trying to teach him the 'Boy who cried Wolf' story because I am so used to his screams that I don't react anymore - one day he really will break his leg and I won't believe him LOL
I don't think you are a bad mum misdee ...