Social and Emotional Development problems

[sjroberston]

A little advice / reassurance needed.

I have a 20 month old DS and he has always been high needs. Colicky as a new born, slow to crawl (12 months) and walk (17 months) and has around 15 words although they are coming more frequently of late. The issue is his emotional development.

My DS has never been a particularly cuddly or social baby but it's becoming more noticeable. He screams if his grand-dad, aunt or uncle even dare go near him. He is only happy with me, DH, his nana's and his nursery nurses, and his 3 year old cousin. He does like sitting on my lap and playing with me or DH, he has good eye contact and is starting to role-play. He does like to lead us to his toys but doesn't hand lead us to play with his toys just to get us to go with him.

He doesn't like anyone coming up to him and even friends can't hold or tickle him. We went for lunch with a group of friends and admittedly we did have to wake him from the car and he went straight into a big group but for the next 3 hours he screamed and wouldn't let anyone but me and DH go near him. I am just so worried about how to help him and I just want him to be happy. It's breaking my heart to see family want to interact with him and him totally rejecting them.

Anyone have similar experiences? Desperate for some advice.

[TheHouseOnTheLane]

I wouldn't call this an emotional development problem....just his personality at the moment. Both of my DDs wouldn't let anyone but me and DH and their grandmothers hold them....they didn't like big groups and at playgroups would stick by my side like glue....never going off alone to play. They're 11 and 7 now and absolutely fine and social.

I wonder if the fact that your DS was slower with his milestones has made you more anxious about this? Lots of 20 month olds aren't very sociable with strangers and even friends of the family.

[asfish]

"I have a 20 month old DS and he has always been high needs. Colicky as a new born, slow to crawl (12 months) and walk (17 months) and has around 15 words although they are coming more frequently of late. The issue is his emotional development. "

That's pretty much the same as my boy (27 months) he has maybe 50 words although he very sharp and understands everything. I've got a speech therapist coming around each week to help, BUPA wouldn't pay and your child has to be 18 months behind before the NHS will do much.

My boy is very loving but was kicked out of daycare for not settling at around 14 months so my wife gave up work.

I wouldn't worry too much, my niece was much like your child is now would burst into tears each time she came around our house, only stopped when she was 3

If you want to work on words, we were told to build them up by talking slowly so if he has a car you say "this is a car" this is the car wheels" etc

After 3 weeks he is now keeping me on one page of a book pointing at everything and having me tell him what it is.

Avoid statements that are questions (very hard!) and don't do future statements like we are going to the park tomorrow as kids that age find it hard to process.

Above all enjoy him, this is the stage we we are the best thing in their lives. I can't wait to get home and see my son.

Before you know where you are he will be embarrassed to be seen with you!!