9 year old phobia of wasps, dragonflies and more

[PavlovtheCat]

We live close the countryside and water (Devon). Spend a lot/mist of outdoor time on the countryside/by water. We see a LOT of bees, wasps, and a few dragonflies. It's that time of year and it's only going to get worse.

And DDs fear of them is getting worse, she screams, runs, grabs me crying 'mummy mummy !' Has just this second thrown some lemonade over while pushing it away in hysterics as a wasp was near )in pub). Her behaviour is getting worse and it's pretty much ending everything we are doing.

She is also becoming more clingy generally, clinging onto me I new situations, where she used to be confident doing new things.

Any tips on how to help her manage her fears and help me not get cross

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I've not got much to advise sorry. When everything is calm, have you tried talking to her about why she is scared and what she thinks will happen?

[MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours]

Has she been stung? Or has she watched something that frightened her.

It might be worth talking to her about all the good these insects do, perhaps look them up together and discuss them at a time when she is calmer. Might help her to regain some control on the situation and reduce her anxiety.

[PavlovtheCat]

She has never been stung. No-one in family ever been stung, no over-reactions from us (we don't like them but we remain still/move away slowly if there are a few). We have talked to her about what might happen if stung (hurt, no worse than falling off her bike, that's it), looked up dragon flies and that they don't have the ability to bite, that the 'tail' is for mating only. She knows it all logically.

Today, we did have a breakthrough. Had a wasp near us, she got up, calmly, but quickly, (looked terrified but no screaming) and just walked away. She tried really hard, but when we got near some dragonflies, she ran. Literally panicked.

They are so beautiful though!

[PavlovtheCat]

Thing is, we have done some woodland walk groups together, she has learnt about them, she knows logically they are not going to hurt her for the most part, and if for some reason (annoyed etc) they did, it would be no worse than falling over on bike/scooter which she still does despite having fallen off lots. She does understand, and she relays that well, just cannot contain her fear when near (except she tried very hard to day, lots of praise for doing so well).

[TeamBacon]

Wasps are nasty wee shits, no doubt about that


How about looking at pictures of dragonflies and their rainbow wings. Ds used to be scared to death of them but after a while I suggested drawing them, looking at the colours. How is she with butterflies?

[TeamBacon]

Ask her which is the least freaky to her, maybe rank them. Start from butterfly, work up to dragonfly, then go from there? . Perhaps might make her feel more in control?

[Fanjango]

Any chance you could get a referral to CAMHS? If her anxiety is effecting her everyday life cognitive therapy may help.

[melinski]

I don't think CAMHS would accept a referral for mild insect phobia, they're v overstretched. All you can do OP is reassure her and try not get cross. I've seen many adults get hysterical over the presence of a wasp, or moth or even a low flying pigeon so I'm sure it's not that unusual.

[Fanjango]

You're probably right. I just thought if it's getting worse it's best to get in quick.
I'm not in the best frame of mind tonight. Son has had awful issues this summer and CAMHS finding it hard to help.
I just thought I'd put it out there.

[PavlovtheCat]

Had a breakthrough today. DD was near 2 wasps and she behaved calmly, and allowed an adult to remove one in a jar, moved away when the other one was near her in a garden. She was still terrified and still had panicked when she thought she saw a dragonfly, but not as badly, and it's a start.