Normal 3 year old boy?

[PinkyKates1]

Hi There,

My boyfriends 3 year old son is becoming a very angry little boy, he he pushes other children he hits them and he bites, we have recently got a puppy and he is very rough with him and will throw things or stroke him very hard on porpose, we have always had animals in the family and his mother has always had cats, so you would assume he knows how to be around animals.
Being with him is becoming incresingly difficult, he will back talk you and laugh if you give him 'the look' i know there are children a lot more violent than him but, he does it in a very sneeky way, he says that his mother smacks him but is this her last resort if he behaves like this all the time?

He lives a very confusing life and he is always with either my boyfriend, his mum and partner or his dad and partner or his mother and her mother and farther, they are passed around like little parcels which i know can be extreamly difficult for young children. He has an older 5 year old sister who he can be quite nasty to as well, shes lovely the odd tantrum now and then but she would never hurt anyone, they cant really play together with out getting into an argument and would much rather watch tv or play on their Ipads (Which i have never agreed with)

just wanted some advice, is the normal 3 year old boy behaviour? i dont want him to grow up and it just get worse and worse, he seems to think hurting people and animals will get him what he wants...

Any advise would be welcome
Thanks in advance

x

[midnightvelvetPart2]

The poor little lad, he sounds very confused & angry. Perhaps his other caregivers do give into him if he hurts them them which has created this pattern of behaviour.

Much of this is normal for his age but the hurting of animals/people needs to stop, pretty soon one of the animals will have had enough & may bite back. You can't do much about what he does the rest of the time but when he's with you then you need to have boundaries, e.g. if he hurts the puppy then he cannot touch it for the next few hours (& separate them) perhaps use a naughty step or similar for every instance of hurting something else. Is your boyfriend firm about what is & isn't acceptable in your house? Perhaps the lad will respond well to boundaries, especially if all of the different people he is cared by have their own definitions about what's acceptable, his perception of 'good' & 'bad' behaviour may be skewed if his dad lets him bounce on the sofa when grandma doesn't, or when grandma lets him throw something & his mum doesn't. The lad may not know whether he's coming or going & the behaviour you describe may be masking some complex emotions that he is not equipped to deal with at 3.

Any 3 year old will push & try to get past rules but this boy has added troubles to deal with & you will need to be patient & consistent with him.

I wish you the best :) xx

[PinkyKates1]

Hi midnightvelvetPart2

I couldnt have said it better myself, we are quite firm with him and ask him where he may have learnt what hes just done from, and we use the naughty step as punishment, but you never know he could like you say go to someone elses house do the same and not get punished, maybe better co-parenting is needed ?

it makes me upset to think that a 3 year old child can get so angry, he shouldnt have to be so confused but obviously he is going to be, i wish there was a way to make his living situation clearer to him but i cant see one :/

thank you for your reply, at least i know im not the only one that comes to that conclusion

x