Dominant 5yr old DD - Issues with friends

(6 Posts)
seriouspickles Mon 22-Jun-15 11:32:31

Advice gratefully received... my 5yr old dd seems to have real issues when mixing outside school with friends. She is really excited about them coming over/us going out but about 30 mins in she starts to get really grumpy and horrible, almost like she can't cope. She is a very loving/funny/cheeky little girl but she is also very headstrong and dominant. She is fine in school, mixes and plays well, she is fine at other people's houses and at partys where all her friends are, it seems to be when we are with her and her friends, or they are over our house. Yesterday we were out with one of her friends and she got really horrible, saying she wasn't going to play with her tomorrow at school and was grumpy with her for the rest of the time. We have tried talking to her, always pick up her on her bad behaviour and make her say sorry but I am mortified when I have to take home the friend and explain that dd has been horrible. This may seem like petty playground stuff but it's beginning to be a problem, it happens every time she has friends over. Any advice? does anyone else have this problem?

christinarossetti Mon 22-Jun-15 11:36:55

Minimise the out of school socialising would be my advice.

Sounds like you've hit the name on the head when you say it's 'almost like she can't cope'.

Socialising is hard work for lots of us. Coming up to the end of the school year when they're tired. Try also seeing friends with children of a different age to yours - often less flash points for arguments or general grumpiness.

seriouspickles Mon 22-Jun-15 11:44:15

Thanks for your advice.

My husband and I both work full time so the only time we get to have her friends over/socialse is at weekends. With everything else life throws at you we don't get the chance to have her friends over that much tbh. We did explain to her the last time she was horrid that she was not allowed to have friends over for a while which she accepted. We tried again, taking them out in the hope it would diffuse any siutations but it still ended up the same. She is an only child so I want to provide her opportunities out of school to mix but its getting too stressful!

christinarossetti Mon 22-Jun-15 13:10:56

Honestly, leave it for a while.

She has plenty of time for socialising at school and there's plenty of time ahead of her.

Go for the route of least resistance at this age!

GinUpGirl Mon 22-Jun-15 13:20:59

Yep, don't invite anybody over for a while. She can't cope yet. If this means she doesn't get invites too, so be it. She needs to learn that if you are not nice, you don't get invited to do nice things.

christinarossetti Mon 22-Jun-15 19:38:04

i don't think it's about learning to 'be nice' to get 'nice things'.

It's about her developing the internal coping mechanisms to manage different social situations successfully.

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