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Behaviour/development

7wk old won't let me leave her

12 replies

Wrenchy1982 · 21/06/2015 22:47

I need some advise please help desperate first time mother. My 7wk old daughter won't let me out her down I'm constantly walking around with her in my arms I can't eat go to the bathroom without having her on me. She is a breastfed baby and I understand they are a little more clingy but she will not settle for anybody not even my partner it has to be me she won't even sleep seperatly from me I have tried her in a Moses basket she just cries every time I put her down. She can be sound asleep I will put her down within seconds screaming her head off until I pick her up please help what can I do I have even bought a sling to help me carry her round but have my hands free I just want to be able to have five minutes to myself at the end of a long day

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avocadoadvantage · 21/06/2015 23:01

It's tough isn't it? Utterly normal though I'm afraid. Have you heard of the fourth trimester? Basically babies need time to adjust to being on the outside and need to be near you. A sling is a great idea.

We had a cosleeper next to the bed but our baby spent several weeks sleeping on my chest as she wouldn't be put down either. I'd recommend looking up safe cosleeping. Can someone else take her for a short while to give you a break? Again, our daughter really wasn't keen on anyone other than me holding her unless she was well fed and asleep, then her dad could have her.

I'd also rule out reflux/silent reflux just in case. Hang in there!

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elderflowerlemonade · 21/06/2015 23:03

For your own sanity I would get a sling. My daughter was the same and it is hard but I just used to pretend I was a kangaroo ... Grin

She's 14 months now and she HAS grown out of it! Remember their eyesight and hearing isn't great at 7 weeks. Once they can see and hear you they become more chilled at letting you step away from them. x

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GiniCooper · 21/06/2015 23:12

It happens!
It makes you want to cry. You're exhausted, she's crying you think you're doing it all right.
You are doing everything right. It will pass.
It will all pass.
There's no magic solution. I promise it will pass.
You are doing a great job.

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LentilAsAnything · 21/06/2015 23:25

I was just about to say It Will Pass, when I see Gini beat me to it. Grin But it is true. I have a six-weeker here (and a 4yo who was the same), very attached, though she does let DH hold her so I can have a quick shower. Hang in there. And Google Fourth Trimester if you haven't already. She's being perfectly normal.

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Wrenchy1982 · 22/06/2015 08:24

Thank you all so much I have just read about the fourth trimester and understand it a bit more avacadoadvantage I do think she has a reflux and have mentioned it to my gp he said to monitor her for now but thank you all very much I feel much better now x

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LentilAsAnything · 22/06/2015 09:14

Glad to hear it!

P.S. It will pass! :)

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Goldmandra · 22/06/2015 11:26

I think you will feel better if you stop thinking that you should be able to separate from her. Now you realise that it's normal and reasonable for her to be distressed if she isn't on you, try to keep reminding yourself of this and that it isn't about her letting you do things or controlling you.

It's a stage you'll look back on with fondness in the future.

I'm not sure I'd be waiting and monitoring for very long if I thought my baby had reflux. Don't feel bad about going back quite son if you think she needs medication.

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Wrenchy1982 · 22/06/2015 14:39

Goldmandra thank you I have monitored over the weekend on gp advice as she has had oral thrush and have made her an appointment as it has not stopped. I have five friends who have had babies weeks apart from me and their babies seem very settled and would make me feel that my little bundle was not normal I have even had comments to stop Breastfeeding and put her on formula because she is so clingy I have stuck to it continued with bf and kept my baby close to me it just gets to me when I go to have a bath or go the loo the second I reach bath room she cries but now I understand her and what's she going through I will work with her until she settles on her own x

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Goldmandra · 22/06/2015 15:12

It all seems a lot harder when your baby is stuck to you like glue and other babies seem happy to be put down.

If it's any consolation, my glued-to-me baby was a very easy going, pleasant toddler so I got my turn to feel good about my child later when other people's were screaming the place down over the wrong shaped biscuit.

Flowers It will get easier.

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Wrenchy1982 · 22/06/2015 16:57

Thank you I feel a lot better now and more at ease with it knowing that she actually normal and there isn't anything I'm doing wrong ????

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xXjunebugXx · 22/06/2015 17:00

My first was a baby who would be passed around and was very social and didn't like being held my second (9m) was/is very different. She is a clingy little thing. It wasn't until she was about 14 weeks that she would let her Dad anywhere near her. She would cry if he spoke to her or looked at her before that but overnight it changed, it was weird but it was like she just decided actually Dad I like you now! It was very hard going s she was with me or on me ALL the time. A sling was my saviour. She is a very happy little thing now, still very much a Mummy's girl but she is happy with Daddy and has been happy with Granny from about 6 months.
I say embrace it, try to enjoy it. they are only young for such a short while and it goes so fast. Totally understand how you are feeling though but it does get better xx

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Wolfiefan · 22/06/2015 17:01

Completely normal. I vividly remember my DS being stuck to me until he was about 6 chuffing months!
Thankfully DD was totally different!!!!!

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