6.5 yo pooing in his pants

[rockybalboa]

My 6.5 yo DS has started pooing his pants. Maybe 5 days out of the last 7. Not a full poo but certainly enough to leave residue and dried poo all over his bum from then sitting in it. He doesn't own up to it until you literally smell him out. The escaping poos are happening at school but they also happen at the weekend too. Normal cause seems to be that he gets too engrossed in what he is doing to think about going to the toilet until it is too late. More than just skidmarks. He always been a bit inclined that way and you could always smell he was ready to go and then have to send him off waddling like a duck desperately but this is different and DH has told me tonight that he used to do similar at the same age when his parents were divorcing in difficult circumstances.

By way of background, we moved 320 miles in February and he started a new school after Feb half-term. The reason for us moving (not that I think it is particularly relevant but it might be and I don't want to be accused of drip-feeding) is that he was injured at his old school by another child and left blinded in one eye. There is no cosmetic injury to his eye and is doesn't seem to affect his day to day to functioning. He certainly doesn't appear to dwell on it at all and isn't treated any differently because of it.

However, he was very happy in his old school and was the oldest in his class with a very close group of 5/6 boys who he played with all the time and who he was generally the leader of (he says he used to decide which games they played.. ). He seems to have settled well into his new school and his teacher has said he is very sociable. He has had a few playdates and is always very chatty and he is always chatting away in the playground and has children asking if he is coming to the park after school (which we probably don't do often enough, down to me being disorganised with the younger 2 DS but which I could address).

But...., he does complain about having nobody to play with at school or playing with "Mr Nobody" and can get quite tearful about it. We think that this actually means that he can't find anyone to play the game that he wants to play, rather than no-one letting him join in their game as when pressed he will say that he did X with Y (and Y is sometimes the same person, sometimes different). New class includes 20 boys and 10 girls and there are already some alpha males within the boys so he hasn't been able to adopt his preferred Top Dog status.

So: the two things could be related or they could not. I think I need to make an appointment to speak to his teacher anyway but what else can I try? Considering some of reward chart but not sure if that will work.

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice please?

[Earthbound]

i think he sounds constipated TBH. The 'escaping poo' sounds like overflow which is very common in constipated children. I'd get your GP to have a look at him.

[LastingLight]

I agree with Earthbound. Look at physical causes first and when that is ruled out you can investigate the psychological issues.

[rockybalboa]

Thanks, constipation hadn't occurred to me. I suspect he isn't drinking enough, especially at school so will work on that and see if it helps.

[Earthbound]

A GP will be able to tell very quickly if they are constipated by feeling their abdomen. If they are, then they can prescribe lactalose or movicol to help. I would go down this route personally as once the 'overflow' starts, the constipation can be quite severe and additional water/changes to diet etc won't be enough to shift the blockage.

If the GP doesn't think they are constipated then you can start with incentives, rewards etc confident that there is no physical issue at play.

[Mailand]

Agree with other posters about seeing the gp. Even if it turns out the cause is nothing physical e.g. constipation, they can still offer other help. My child currently has an issue with night time pooing when he was previously fine and our gp doesn't believe it has a physical cause. He has referred us to the paediatric dept at the hospital which has a specialist incontinence nurse who supports children and their families with any kind of incontinence (day/night/wees /poos). Another useful resource is //www.eric.org.uk I contacted their email helpline about my child's situation and I got back and really detailed and thorough response which was very helpful.

I hope your son's issue improves soon.

[rockybalboa]

Thanks Mailand, I found an ERIC leaflet online earlier which was helpful. Having read it I think he might be drinking too much milk as well as it is his drink of choice as well as having it on cereal. Will work on his water consumption level and get some more fruit in him as well.

[BackforGood]

Agree with others - my first thought was constipation and leaking overflow. Honestly, your GP will be able to have a quick feel and tell straightaway then you can find out what to do about that.
The ERIC website is also very good / helpful

[BarbarianMum]

We had this periodically and I had all sort of behavioural theories (didn't want to stop playing, didn't like school toilets etc). He was chronically constipated and it was overflow poo, even though he did poo regularly.

All those wasted months of stress, encouragement and nagging when what he really needed was movicol