21 month old twins - help with discipline!

(4 Posts)
goldygirl1 Mon 04-May-15 22:04:11

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice for disciplining my 21 month old twins.. I'm at a loss for what to do.

They seem to feed off each other when they are doing something like climbing the tv cabinet, I pull one away and try and distract him while the other is climbing it and then the one I'm distracting sees him and goes back and does it and so on and so on. They also fight with each other a lot, always stealing off each other. Then when one is upset and I try to comfort him, the other one gets upset and we get into this cycle of them both having turns with me and getting upset and jealous when it's not them being comforted.

Anyone gone or going through a similar thing?? It's driving me crazy and I end up relying on food and cartoons to just get a few minutes of peace and quiet!

holeinmyheart Tue 05-May-15 08:29:40

Sorry, but this what looking after very small children can feel like.
They are far too young to rationalise and think about you and your feelings and your furniture etc. can you imagine them sitting quietly all day and thinking ' if I sit here quietly and do nothing Mummy will like me better ?
They are exploring their world and you as the adult are the only one who can change here.
They need to be outside running around and working off some of their energy and you need to relax and enjoy them more. They will know you are cross and fed up. You have their future in your hands.

Yes, it is boring and we have all been there. I felt like throttling my DC s on occasion and I was bored rigid with the fighting and yelling.

However, as I had such a rotten childhood, and didn't want to do to them what was done to me. I just had to make a supreme effort to plan fun things for them to do. ( not for me)
The more you are patient, the more you try and enjoy them, the better childhood experience you are giving them.
You only have to read the thread on MumsNEt ' we took you to a stately home' to realise, how many shattered adults there are around.

They will reward you in shedloads when they are older, honestly.
You are not a bad Mum at all but you are tired.
This phase will pass, everything passes. Chin up and relax.
Be fun mummy, not grumpy, miserable mummy who always looks fed up.
Treat your children like you would like to be treated, with respect and you can't go far wrong.
Best of luck because it is not easy.xx

Givemecaffeine21 Tue 05-May-15 16:04:22

I've got an 11 month gap so not twins but it often feels like it! They are 22 months and 33 months. I use time out and have done since around 18 months. Although many will say they don't get it before 2, mine absolutely did get it and just a minute say by the front door with the timer set sorts most things out. Once the timer beeps they get up and we carry on. It really works in my house so it's worth a try for those things that you keep saying no to or distracting from but they keep returning to. DS in particular is very receptive to it and it literally resets him when he's having a tantrum. I don't bother with more than a minute for him as a minute is enough but DD gets her 3 mins as she's nearly 3. I've also got twin nephews so I understand twins, I salute you, it's hard work!

ScorpioMermaid Tue 05-May-15 16:09:52

Same here, my youngest is 20 months and the next youngest is 11 months older at 31 months.. They're always bouncing off each other and creating havoc. It's just what they do, they'll grow out of it sooner or later but in the meantime there's not much you can do to be honest. I have 5 boys including the little pair and 3 girls. Honestly, it +kind of+ gets better ��

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