8yo boy v labile emotions, dislikes clothes labels - help

[ButIdid]

My 8 year old is a loving, thoughtful and affectionate child, doing well at school and has friends.

He experiences emotions to the extreme. So if he's going to do something he likes he will literally jump up and down and shout with excitement, even if it's not a particularly special thing. If something happens he's not happy with he is plunged into black despair disproportionate to the situation. He has difficulty sitting still for any length of time, rushes around at high speed, is always hurting himself. Labels on clothes really annoy him - he will not wear them, I have to cut them off all his clothes so that no remnant is left.

The real day to day problem is that he has a big temper, he explodes and lashes out at his sibs if they do something wrong, again out of proportion to the offence. He seems to take everything so personally. He will often be sorry a minute later. He has low self esteem and often says he's rubbish when he actually is doing well, good at sport etc. I'm finding family life hard to manage - his sib might tease him gently and he'll lash out, but I feel bad telling his sib off all the time as it's 50:50 with him being so oversensitive. Also fussy with food and getting worse - stuff he would eat before he's going off now, also doesn't like foods touching each other on plate etc.
Also extremely shy, scared of authority, will never approach teacher for help - even when fell at school and broke a tooth for example, just waited til I picked him up to tell me....But does have friends in peer group.

Any ideas on how to help, or books to read or even how you would term this to look online?

Not looking for label but practical ideas about how to make his life & family life better, please.

[Nerris]

My eldest dd has some similarities to your DS. Very fussy eater (textures especially) she doesn't like labels in clothes, hasn't since she was a child. Does seem to be quite clumsy, always hurting herself. Her emotions are up and down too, she'll go into absolute hysterics about somebody moving something of hers but when she's happy she's so much fun.

I'm afraid I can't offer a lot of advice as i've been uncertain of the best thing to do, however I just try ad give reassurance whilst trying not to turn her into a neurotic mess!

[LastingLight]

Maybe post in the Special Needs section and ask how they handle children with similar challenges? It doesn't matter if your has a formal diagnosis of something or not. I often see people recommending a book called "The Explosive Child".

[ButIdid]

Thank you for all your advice, much appreciated. What is sensory processing disorder? Is that because of the clothes labels annoying him? The incredible 5 point scale & explosive child book look useful. Nerris, thanks for the support, can I ask, has your daughter grown better with age?

[ButIdid]

Very interesting. Alot of those ring true. He hates driers in public toilets, not only the crazy loud ones, normal ones too. Refuses to go in. And he is an absolute fidget monster. Can they have it in some areas & not others? I dont think he has any issues with sight for example.