4 yr old won't tidy up

[mimmymouse]

Sounds like a bizarre and silly thing to ask about, but the nursery staff are now mentioning this like I'm some sort of idiot…..

My 4 yr old DD, who is off to school in September, simply won't tidy up. She goes to a Montessori pre-school two days per week and they say she is wonderful…. At home and at nursery where she also is two days per week, she will not tidy up. Rewards charts etc have been offered but she won't participate.

It is not fair on the other children either at home or at nursery. We have a very nice space for her to play: things are all marked up, with pictures on the places where things belong. Everything has a home. It's not too crowded and we have a great variety of things. I can't help but feeling upset because so many other children have nothing and my spoilt brat won't tidy up.

Advice?

[Cedar03]

Tidy up her toys into the bin. That forced my daughter to help. Tell if she won't do it you will start putting things in the bin. Then you must follow through.

Unless something like a timer and making it a race will work. That normally works here.

[mimmymouse]

Have threatened toys in the bin….. You're right about follow through.

Timer is a really, really good idea. Will give that one a go for sure. Thanks for the advice Cedar.

[kimistayingalive]

In my son's nursery when it is time to tidy up they have this "popcorn" tune that they put on and all the kids have to stop and tidy up. So maybe an equivalent of that.

Or tell her I bet you can't put that away before I count to 10, etc.

Or do it with her 1 for me/1 for you.

Split the mess in half and race her (let her win occasionally especially the first few times).

Have you tried doing countdown warnings as in telling her 15 minutes before you have to tidy up and then 10 mins, 5 mins, 3 mins, 1 min, time to tidy up.

Also does she just get everything out as she plays and discards to the next as this could be altered to playing with one and if she wants to play with something else she has to tidy the first thing away before she can have something else. This is what my DS was bought up with and thus is pretty tidy and even occasionally folds (sort of) his own clothes and we've never asked that of him.

The extreme thing is to remove the mess she makes into a bin/bag and she needs to earn them back by being tidy or some other task that she is capable of.

My DS knows if he breaks something it's binned and will not get replaced so there's no throwing or purposely damaging toys. (If accidentally broken or stops working that's different.)