5-yr-old having daily small wee accidents

[TheDormouse]

DD1 is 5, and has real trouble staying dry. She's been dry at night for a while now (and ditching the pull-ups was her own decision), but during the day she seems to have frequent small accidents - she doesn't fully wet herself, but leaks a bit and is almost always damp and horribly smelly by the end of the day. It's worse when she's at home - we've tried suggesting/insisting she goes to the toilet more often than she thinks she needs, but she usually insists she doesn't need to, and it's usually a battle. What makes it worse (for me) is that she doesn't seem in the least bit bothered by it. She'd happily mooch around in wet pants and tights all day, ronking to high heaven. It is driving me nuts.

It seems to be a bit better at school - she says she 'remembers' to go when she's there, and her teachers don't seem to think there's a problem. (She's still quite often a little damp when I pick her up, though.)

Has anyone got any ideas, or coping strategies? I assume I just have to wait this one out. But is there anything I could be doing? Is there any point taking her to the GP? I'd do a sticker chart, but I don't know what to give her a sticker for - there's almost never a completely dry day!

[Debs75]

DD3 is exactly the same so lurking for some answers too. We encourage her to go to toilet almost hourly at home which can help. SHe is worse if she needs a poo though.

Actually DD1 was like that but we have traced it back to an incident where she sat on a plastic Dipsy top which we think damaged her urethra. She had trouble recognising needing to wee and if she squatted would often leak. Not helpful unless your DD has also sat on a spiky plastic toy

[TheDormouse]

Thanks Debs75. It's good to know there's somebody else out there! Did your DD1 grow out of it? crosses fingers and hopes the answer is yes

And was that Dipsy as in Teletubbies? V bad luck if so. Tinky Winky wouldn't have been quite so uncomfortable for your poor DD.

[ChunkyPickle]

DS1 (4) is the same. Insists he doesn't need to go, then you glance over a couple of minutes later and there's a wet patch.

He just doesn't want to stop doing what he's doing, and he's not embarrassed enough to make the effort to do anything about it.

I've tried bribes, withdrawal of benefits, repeated reminders, forceful reminders... nothing seems to make much difference (repeated, chirpy, reminders to 'just check' seem to do the best - if you try and make him then he digs his heels in)

If he's naked then it's not a problem - he's up and off to the toilet whenever he needs to, so I definitely don't think it's a physical issue, and I'm hoping he'll eventually grow out of it.

[MonstrousRatbag]

DS(6) is, or was, even worse. He was not dry day or night. We were routinely going through 4 pairs of trousers a day (our record was 7 or 8) and by the end of school he reeked of wee. He didn't seem bothered but it was hard for the school to manage. DH and I feared it was only a matter of time before the teasing started.

We got a referral to the enuresis clinic. He has a triple whammy of issues (overactive bladder, lack of the hormone that suppreses nighttime urination, voiding postponement, and to cap it all his bladder was irritated by certain drinks) and we've been advised not to hold out any hope of night-time dryness for a long while. He is on medication which has, after a time, made an incredible improvement. Best of all, he loved the enuresis nurse and she loved him, so it felt like gaining an ally instead of being a problem.

Interestingly, the nurse identified dehydration as part of the problem and told us DS had to drink much more, though he shouldn't have fluids within an hour of bedtime. Also, orange juice and blackcurrant drinks are banned. We've been advised to be very matter-of-fact about it all, but to priase progress highly.

I'd recommend seeking a referral now. It could take ages to get an appointment.

[MonstrousRatbag]

Oh, the ERIC website is very helpful too.

[MyCatLovesMeSometimes]

DD had a similar issue but it turned out to be a UTI so so might well be worth getting her checked out by GP.

[kelda]

Does she have any problems with constipation?

[TheDormouse]

Thanks all! Kelda - no, not really. MonstrousRatbag - thanks for the link to the ERIC website - very useful. I think I might take her to get checked. Sounds worth a try, if only to eliminate a UTI.

Chunkypickle - that sounds just like her! Good to know we are not alone. I'll hang in there if you will.

[lottiesatitagain]

My dd went through a phase of that. Turned out to be caused by a kidney infection.

[MajesticWhine]

DD3 (who is nearly 5) is exactly the same, except she is not dry at night either. We do the lifting thing at night. The dribbling is worse at home. As far as I can tell, it's a problem at school too, but not noticed by teachers. I think she is just too lazy to think of going to the toilet, and it's all a colossal bore. She sometimes goes through a whole school day going only once or not at all.

I think I need to inject some new energy into a reward system where she gets rewarded for every visit to the toilet, because like you say TheDormouse, she is not dry all day so she can't earn a sticker for that. I have tried stickers before but lost momentum.

[Debs75]

Dormouse Yes it was a teletubby and she did grow out of it. It took a long time but by 11 she was fully dry day and night. I know 11 seems very old but she had a whole host of other things going on besides the wetting which made it take so long.

DD2 has appeared to turn a corner, she ha been dry most days since Thursday and today despite being constipated she hasn't wet herself once.

[Donthackmenow]

When I saw this thread I thought it was one of mind that I had forgotten about!!
You have described the issue we are having with our 5 yr old dd to a T. It has become such a battle ground and really impacts on our day. Like you say it is damp patches not full on accidents and they accumulate over the day so that she smells. Her friends haven't noticed yet but it really worries me, I don't want her to be bullied.

I took dd to the dr this week to rule out infection- the sample came back as unlikely to be an infection. The dr gave us some senokat as he thought she might be constipated which could be pushing on the bladder. He warned us that it is probably behavioural because she is dry at night. This should obviously be good news but I was so hoping it would be something medicine could fix!!!

Dd is difficult and stroppy in many ways, wonderful in lots of others, and we are really struggling to 'handle' her at the moment. She is so shouty and constantly telling us she doesn't want to be our friend any more/will never play with us again. My dh is especially struggling so this just feels like another battle

[alannacityofzorn]

hi dd is 6 and is going through 8 pairs of trousers a day, on medication to reduce constipation and paediatrian appointment in a week.
there are vibrating kids watches that have up to 8 silent alarms a day to remind them to go to the toilet. haven't tried but considering but the reviews for amazon one are rubbish.
my sympathies are with you.

[Ginocchio]

Just found this thread, and it's saved me having to write exactly the same post about DD. There are no major behavioural issues otherwise; she just doesn't seem to notice. Is it something that improves with time?