State or private school for disruptive boy?

[tostaky]

From the day he was born he has been a PITA... Always whinging, colicky, very demanding... DS is now 6 and in Year 1 in a very nice two form entry state school.
Ds is above all his targets and his best friends are (surprisingly!!) the two boys that are the most academic in the classroom (or so it seems).
However DS is disruptive. The teachers challenge him in class to make sure he is not bored. They Say that sometimes when he messes up with other children, he will pick up his work straight away and do it properly whereas the other wont (i am assuming he doesnt mess with his two best friends).
So i am wondering... Would a private school with a higher ratio of adults to children would be beneficial for my son? He has abilities (not top of the class but maybe in the top tier) or should i carry on with the lovely state school which is understaffed (no TA in the afternoons, 30 children per class.

Any experience? Advice? Thank youboys that areschool.

[Toastandsympathy]

I am not sure what others will say, but private schools sometimes will not offer places to children they think may be disruptive?

[ragged]

DS attended a private school that specialised in difficult kids. There were lots of dedicated adults (I imagine parents paid extra for that specific adult support for their child).

Most private schools only care about high results, if he interferes with that, out he would go. At least state system is obliged to try to meet his needs.

[ChablisTyrant]

My cousin was like this. They moved him to private school and he just carried on the same! He made it to GCSEs but they asked him not to return for A level.
It seems that moving him is a very drastic option compared to reading about the behavious of energetic boys and trying to work with him to focus his energy as he matures.
Sympathies... My DS is just about to start school and I fear he will be like this. He is so bloody minded and never stops moving and jumping on people and is so excitable and silly.

[GooseyLoosey]

I guess it depends on how disruptive he is and why and what kind of indy you would send him to. It also depends on how you think he would respond to a different environment.

I think it may be a bit early to consider moving him if he is only in Yr 1. I would start by talking to the school and working out exactly what the issue is and how it can be addressed. The key thing for me at this stage would be to avoide creating an impression of ds as the naughty boy in the class.

Once I had a clearer understanding of what the school perceived the issue to be, I would wait and see if they can resolve it. If it became clear to me that they could not, I would look at moving him.

I moved ds in Yr 4 (with hindsight we waited too long though and should have moved him a Yr sooner). We moved him to a very disciplined, academic school because everyone agreed that he would thrive in that environment. He can be loud and over exuberant but immediately responds to any requests to change his behaviour (he just stuggles to work out himself what is acceptable). We were very open with the school when we moved him and made it clear what our concerns were and that the school had to be happy having ds there and regard him as a positive. So far, they always have.

[Dilbertdoes]

If you move him to private and his disruptiveness continues you will constantly worry about whether he's going to be expelled.

[tostaky]

Thanks for your answers.
I am in touch daily with the school, he has a behaviour book in which everyday he gets stars or (bad) comments. I chat with the teacher everyday(2 mins if things ok, more if not).
He is not the naughtiest boy of the class but I am sure he is a very close second!!!
Not sure why exactly he is like this, he has always been... Just an awful lot of energy and some naughtiness. Other son is so quiet compared to him and so well behaved! I am pretty sure there is nothing to do with me... a bit like one is a fantastic eater and the other is really picky and slow... I fed them the same way!
School doesn't know why he is like that either, that is why they challenge him during class so he never gets bored.

If we do move him to a private school I was thinking to wait until Year 3 and pass the exam entrance. His academic skills are good in a good school so I guess it shouldn't be much of a problem? And he is brilliant at sports. (In fact he is brilliant at everything except behaving himself!!!).

[tostaky]

what would he have to do to be expelled?

[GooseyLoosey]

Only thing with moving him to a private school is that you have to believe that he could meet the behavioural expectations of the school and the school would be happy to help. If so, I think your plan is a good one - wait and see for the next 18 months - doing as much as you can with the school - and then look at the possibility of a move.

Don't assume though that an academic private school will challenge more though. One of the things we found was that ds was given extensive extension work in his state primary and often worked with the year or 2 above. When we moved him to a private school, the whole class was working at a higher level, but not always at as high a level as the extension work in the state school. They were not so good at giving additional extension work.

[GooseyLoosey]

Only thing with moving him to a private school is that you have to believe that he could meet the behavioural expectations of the school and the school would be happy to help. If so, I think your plan is a good one - wait and see for the next 18 months - doing as much as you can with the school - and then look at the possibility of a move.

Don't assume though that an academic private school will challenge more though. One of the things we found was that ds was given extensive extension work in his state primary and often worked with the year or 2 above. When we moved him to a private school, the whole class was working at a higher level, but not always at as high a level as the extension work in the state school. They were not so good at giving additional extension work.

[Toastandsympathy]

Tostaky - that would depend entirely on the individual school's policies.

[tostaky]

but then, if they are more teachers in the class, he will get more attention and will be less likely to be disruptive? So his behaviour "should" improve...

academically, he is not that good that he gets extension work. He is in the "good" group for maths and literacy. maybe there is a "very good" group, it is quite opaque...!!

If we did move him, would the state school give a report to the private school and comments on his behaviour? I guess so...
I mean we do everything that is possible now and I am lucky not to be working and to be able to pick up/drop off, see the teachers everyday. But obviously I want to give him the best chances and if he needs more attention and maybe more adults to set limits then he will get it.
It is a very nice state school he is in though. for ex: the headteacher plays piano when the children sings and my DS is talking about it (good male role model).

[Whereupon]

The private school will probably want a school report before deciding whether to accept him. If the report says that he is disruptive, they may not want him.
I think that I would leave him in the good state school. A state school is likely to be better at dealing with disruptive kids, and to give you less of a hard time over it. But if the problem is that he is very bright and they are not challenging him enough, may be worth sending him an academic private school.

[MillyMollyMama]

Do not automatically assume that smaller classes means better teaching or class management. It does not. It might mean that all the children are well behaved and easy to manage and teach in the first place. Teachers in independent schools do not necessarily have the skills to manage disruptive children and I have witnessed very poor practice first hand. Also, parents can get very grumpy about disruptions in independent school lessons. It is not what they are paying for and you may well feel the pressure if your child does not settle down. State schools have far better skills in this area and often the SEND teacher is better qualified to advise and help so I would stay put for a bit longer. If you are going to move, do it at the end of KS1.