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Behaviour/development

kids missing dad

4 replies

fattymcfatfat · 21/01/2015 15:43

Im recently single and my 6yo doesnt seem to be taking it well. He suffered from horrendous night terrors from two until four and these are now starting up again. He has always been a happy and calm little boy but he just seems upset lately and wont talk to me even though we have always had a close relationship. My 1yo cries for dada all the time and im finding this all very difficult as dad left just before finding out I was pregnant again. So im a pregnant single mum of two who seem to be taking this hard. I knew it wasnt going to be a walk in the park and I know theres not much I can do about my 1yo. I just wish my 6yo would talk to me so I can at least try to help him

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RavioliOnToast · 22/01/2015 08:33

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, the first thing that popped to mind was could you not maybe take your eldest shopping for a notepad that is only his, he can write down any feelings he has that his dad has left, and he could write down any questions he has for you regarding the split. I know for me personally, I hate talking face to face with someone but give me a pen and paper and I'll happily tell all. Also, he may feel added pressure that he is 'the man of the house' now or he may feel he is to blame in some way for the split.

I hope he is feeling better soon and things get back on track.

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fattymcfatfat · 24/01/2015 20:55

Thank you what a good idea! I will try this and hopefully see results. Again thank you

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Starlightbright1 · 24/01/2015 21:04

I have found with my DS that chatting while doing something helps rather than lets have a chat about this...In the car is good for some reason maybe no eye contact.

Are they still seeing their Dad?

The one year old will adapt very quickly... The 6 year old may not really understand how they are feeling.

Emotion cards can also help them at least talking about how they feel.

If it is recent it is raw for all of you and will get better

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fattymcfatfat · 24/01/2015 21:13

I dont drive and I try to talk during activities kind of blend it into casual conversation iyswim. But he just shuts down. I am going to try the book and see how that goes. It is quite raw and dad sees them whats meant to be 1 1/2 hours on a Tuesday and Thursday and 7 hours on Saturday but he does thinks such as leaving early or not bothering