"Fiddling" issue with DD

[loujay]

Hi,
My DD is 3 and over the last few months has started "fiddling". Not a problem in itself, I have no issue with it as she is just exploring her body. We just ignored it and tried to distract her with toys etc.
The issue is that now she is spending ages on the sofa humping herself (for want of a better phrase) and now her nursery have pulled me to one side and said that she is doing it there, although they are distracting her but they suggested I take her to the doctor!!
I have looked and she appears to have no infection that I can see so it really is a case of a nice feeling that she is getting and she doesnt want it to stop.
So Mumsnet people - what is the next step - how do I stop her doing this whenever and wherever she likes.
Many Thanks in anticipation of wise answers
Loujay

[loujay]

Bump
anyone??

[Glassofslime]

my DD2 has been doing this to some extent since she was 2 - she's now 4. Although i wouldn't say she's goes as far as spending time on the sofa humping herself, she has got into the habit of 'fiddling'. I used to know a child psychologist and I asked her about the best way of dealing with it as like you I'm not bothered, but it's about the world outside of our home. She said to distract and not to make a big deal out of it - easier said then done, esp in the summer.

Note sure what help to offer, but thought it might help to know someone else has a similar problem.

I'm finding it hard to be clear in this post as I worry about writing anything that could be misconstrued by anyone dodgy - I know that's possibly over protective, but I'd hate someone enjoying the thought of little girls etc.

[Peggotty]

Can you explain to her that she can only do it at home? Rewards for not doing it? Sounds like you weren't worried about it until the nursery have made an issue of it? Is she doing it to the exclusion of ALL distractions?

[southeastastralplain]

this thread covered it a while back!

hth

[loujay]

Ok thanks for the advice, I have just read the thread that was linked and now dont feel so alone!! - The nursery teacher said that she had heard of it but hadnt come across it in any way - obviously led a sheltered life
I think we will just continue to distract wherever possible. Maybe a conversation about doing it in her room and not in the lounge or at nursery!!
Distraction is hard though so will have a think and a talk to DH
Thanks all

[Piffle]

WE had an issue with ds doing this at a similar age
It was very much a
I'm glad you are doing something that feels so nice but it's private.
So as not to give them some obscene hang up later in life.
FWIw ds did obey and I've not seen him do it again in public since. He is now nearly 13

[loujay]

The thing that makes me smile is that it seems to be acceptable for boys to do it but girls are another thing!!
Is this sexism at an early age??

[bosscat]

I don't think its acceptable for boys. Where on earth do you get that idea? I don't see boys in public happily fiddling away with people not even raising an eyebrow but poor girls are somehow are told they can't. Sorry but honestly.

[loujay]

No I didnt mean acceptable in that sort of way!! Just that people are not so shocked by boys fiddling but if a little girl is doing it they get all shocked.
Now I am rambling............
will go and have a sit down and compose myself.
Thanks to all