Tell me it gets easier....

[ToonLass]

I have a beautiful 3wk old DD and love her to the moon and back, but I'm embarrassed and ashamed to say these last 3 weeks have been a struggle.

I am bf but due to her unable to latch on properly I have had to resort to using nipple shields. This isn't a big problem as such, she is gaining weighty well so I know she is getting enough milk,but her constant feeding is exhausting. She generally goes 2 hours during the day (at most) and the same through the night. This would be ok, but what I am struggling with is settling her afterwards.

She never seems to be content. She wakes up crying, pretty much, and cries after being fed too. I have been giving her infacol for wind/colic but it doesn't seem to be helping.

I am only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night and it's really taking it's toll on me. DH helps a lot but he is at work during the day and can't help with feeding at night. She can scream for 2-3 hours at a time, and even when she brings up wind she is still upset.

I need someone to tell me that all new babies are like this and it will get easier...every time in talk to friends about it they are sympathetic but don't seem to have had such a hard time.

I'm worried that she is in pain, and it upsets me that she cries herself into exhaustion a lot of the time :(.

Sorry for the long post...just after settling her after 3 hours of crying (and 3 feeds) and am currently rocking the Moses basket to try get her to sleep.

TIA

[Athrawes]

Check for reflux - silent reflux doesn't show, like the happy chuckers. Check out www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz/ for symptoms (a NZ site but could help diagnosis). If infant gaviscon works then it is reflux.

If not reflux then you need to get help - sleep. Any family to mind her whilst you have a sleep for an hour or two in the day? Any friends - basically just ask someone to take her off you for an hour as soon as you have fed her and get your head down. You are suffering sleep deprivation and it is hell.

IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Honest.

[Summerdaydreams]

[Flowers] It DOES get easier I promise!!
The first 3 months are tough.

We felt like we had been hit by a train when our dd was born. We did not know what had hit us. I remember thinking, I've changed her nappy, fed her, now why hasn't she gone to sleep !!
A combination of lack of sleep, recovering from labour and the full-on-ness of it all make the first few months tough.

Also I found that others tend to make out things are fine, they look like they were coping, but un reality they are just the same. They just don't admit it !!
Hang in there

[Quitelikely]

I know it might hurt you but have you thought about feeding her some formula at least before bed? I know that might be a horrifying idea but seriously sometimes all the worrying and angst just isn't worth it!

[smidge1717]

I totally understand how you feel.

My DS is now 16 weeks and I can happily say we are in a good routine and I can sleep but those first couple of months were exhausting beyond anything I could ever imagine. As much as I utterly adored my DS I did feel low as you can't even look forward to a chilled evening a good nights sleep. I agree with the others ask someone for help even if it's just a few hours, when I was up nearly every hour in the early days if I managed a couple of hours sleep I felt like a new woman!!

Just don't be afraid to ask for help, it's so hard no matter how much you love your little one. But it does and will get better....

[sophielouise]

Hello! You are not alone don't worry! My DD is 4 weeks today and spends large portions of the day feeding and crying. I'm also using nipple shields on one side due to inverted nipple and no latch. It's really hard work but it DOES get easier. I know there is a growth spurt around 3/4 weeks which increases the cluster feeding. My DD was screaming so much in her car seat I have taken her to see a cranial osteopath. I would recommend this to you as it helps. I was told her spine was incredibly tight and her neck and head needed adjustment due to the trauma of birth. It's worth doing just to relax them a bit. I know it passes because I have a 3 year old DD as well and went through it all before. If you can get to 6 weeks often things get much easier then. Don't give up! We have just introduced one bottle of formula in the evening to save my sanity. You can always do this if you're exhausted and allow your breasts a breather. You can get your milk supply back IMO by pumping/ feeding another time if you're worried. Good luck! PM me if you fancy some hand holding during the dark hours. I've had plenty and despite sounding positive now I've been in tears at least every other day. Repeat after me "this too shall pass this too shall pass"

[Jaffakake]

It does get easier, promise. The first few weeks are such hard work & you feel you've been hit by a truck! I'm pregnant with my second & this us the bit I'm looking forward to the least!

Try a dummy, it can give you a vital breather when they are sucking for comfort. Don't be too scared of a single ff a day, timed so you get vital sleep. You need a straight 4 hours to feel vaguely human. You need rest to be a happy milk making machine!

You're doing a grand job x x

[ToonLass]

Thanks everyone

Had a really bad day with her today - just not settling at all after feeds. Got someone out tomorrow to show me baby massage on her runny to relieve wind so fingers crossed that helps.

DH took the afternoon off as I was so upset when he came home at lunch. I had expressed so he have her a bottle but she still wanted boob afterwards .

She had another bottle of expressed milk after her bath which my MIL gave her while I was resting upstairs - I'm lucky to have as many people to help me.

I thought I would try swaddling - and she's now been lying bin her Moses basket quite happy fe 30 minutes (although still not sleeping!). She's sooking away on her dummy which she seems to like - although gets upset when it falls out her mouth which is often!

Praying for a better night with her tonight - it's draining in every sense of the word but I'm glad I'm not alone - thank you