Talk

Flip

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

4.5yr old dd having toilet accidents

9 replies

Sazorchard31 · 29/10/2014 21:03

My 4.5yr old dd has recently regressed with her toilet use. She regularly has accidents, and almost never makes it to the toilet without having already done a little wee in her knickers.

It seems to have happened since she started school and i don't know if she is just distracted a lot, and maybe nursery reminded them to go to toilet (she was previously at nursery full time). But then at weekends things were always ok at home but now we go through 3 changes of clothes each day.

Any suggestions? I'm becoming increasingly infuriated with her and don't know how to stop it. I feel awful shouting so much and taking away bedtime stories ( which she loves) every day during which she has an accident.

A number of accidents have also been no2s too. Not good!!

OP posts:

Report

Iggly · 29/10/2014 21:07

Don't take away bedtime stories :(

Seriously. She's not doing it on purpose, why would she?

She might be tired and is forgetting. My ds is since starting school. Plus at school he can't go all the time so holds it in then is bursting. I can see he needs to go so I send him to the loo.

I would remind her regularly. Also the poo accidents - is she happy doing this at school? Maybe she's holding it and it is causing her problems.

Report

Sazorchard31 · 29/10/2014 21:11

It's upsetting me taking away the stories as I love that time together and I know she does.

We 're not sure if she's just being really lazy. She did a massive wee on the couch tonight and i was so angry.

I know she's got a new routine with school instead of nursery but she needs to learn to go. I'm sure she holds it in on purpose but don't know why??

OP posts:

Report

Sazorchard31 · 29/10/2014 21:12

I remind her all the time at home. Tonight it had only been 45 mins since last using the toilet.

OP posts:

Report

Iggly · 29/10/2014 21:15

Stories and reading are educational. That's why I'd never take them away. And it isn't working! I remember having accidents at that age - definitely not on purpose in fact it was humiliating.

Try taking her to the toilet. Although doing a big wee after 45 mins - I would consider talking to the gp.

Report

Littlefish · 29/10/2014 21:17

With the poo accidents, is it a whole pooh, just a smear, or a sort of wet poo, sloppy poo?

If it is a smear, or quite sloppy, then it's possible she is constipated. Constipation can also cause problems with wee accidents too.

Report

Sazorchard31 · 29/10/2014 21:20

I've just been reading online and now I feel AWFUL for shouting at her :(
Think I may go to docs tmrw to check it's not an infection.

With the poo it was sloppy and I think it was a food reaction, didn't last long (happened about 6 times in a 2 wk period) and she was well in herself.

OP posts:

Report

Iggly · 29/10/2014 21:26

Oh don't beat yourself up - you felt bad enough to check?

You can give her a big cuddle in the morning and tell her you'll help her?

Report

Littlefish · 29/10/2014 21:35

If you're going to the GP, talk about the possibility of constipation too. Google encopresis (spelling?), basically overflow pooing. The main poo forms a plug in the colon, which causes more liquid poo to escape around the edges. Constipation puts pressure on the bladder which can cause accidents.

Report

Sazorchard31 · 01/11/2014 07:46

After a good talking to dd has had no accidents since this post. Concluded that no real issue, apart from her not emptying her bladder properly so I've been encouraging her to sit up straight and keep trying. As well as constantly asking her to try. Will ask school to keep reminding her when she's back in next week.