15 mo screaming, refusing naps, being overtired.... nightmare

[TheCatSofa]

Hi everyone please give me some advice or words of wisdom and calm!
My 15 mo daughter is lovely but has recently started refusing naps which makes her really overtired which makes her go ballistic if something doesn't go her way & weirdly makes bedtimes take absolutely ages.
For example she woke from her morning nap at 11.40, refused to have an afternoon nap, had bath at 6 and i was feeding her to sleep by 6.15. After an hour i tried to put her down & she went mad, properly screaming so I fed her again for 30 mins then dad came home and took over. she's still awake now at 10 past 8!!! She is beyond tired but just won't sleep. Why?
This screaming that she has started doing is unbearable, sometimes she keeps it up for half an hour or so and seems to go into this kind of trance like state where nothing can distract her & i can't get through to her. It's scary and sometimes i worry i will snap.
I feel like such a shit mother not being able to just deal with it and get her to sleep but at the end of the day after potentially 1.5 hrs of bf i am exhausted.

[XRaySpectacle]

Have you tried just one nap, even if she's rubbing her eyes when she'd usually have the morning nap see if she can stay awake longer, maybe even an extra hour or two. I've had this a few times and it got better with dropping a nap each time, with mine if she's refusing naps then she's not tired enough even if she does look tired iyswim. Since about 11 months she's has had a nap 4 hours from waking in the morning, sleeps for 1.5-2 hours then is awake for around 7 hrs before bedtime. Probably not the most typical pattern but it works for her, may be worth trying. I know how frustrating it is, you have my sympathy!

[tostaky]

I know this is not ideal but have you tried to take her for a walk in the pushchair? It did/does the trick for me...

[WillowWoods]

Teeth?Ears? Don't expect her to always have the same naps. They evolve and change.

[Sunflower1985]

Sympathising with the confusion. My ds (nearly 15mo) won't nap til after noon at nursery. 40 minutes. Then 30 in the car on the way home. Then bed at 7. But on my days off will go for two long naps morning and afternoon. Better naps always equal better sleep.
I find at night pitch darkness helps, but other than that it's trial and error and above all else remember 'this too shall pass'

[TheCatSofa]

Thanks for the replies. XRay we seem to be trying just one nap over the past week which is the problem & makes me think maybe she is not ready for just one?
Tostasy I take her out in the pushchair during the day, do you mean take her out before bed?
Willow I know naps change & I guess there will always be a tricky transition period as they do change which we are in. Guess it could be teeth, still waiting for the molars to make their entrance which I have heard is not much fun..

[Mrsgrumble]

Delay nap time until about 12 or one, just after lunch. This works for us. The car or pram does the trick too. Good luck, it's not easy.

[TheCatSofa]

MrsG this is what I'm trying to do but either she is so tired she needs a nap before lunch or we delay & have lunch & she goes off the scale ballistic when it's time for nap even though she must be exhausted.. is this just standard behaviour?? Maybe I am expecting too much of her!

[Busymumofone]

Sounds like my DD who is almost 16 months. At the recommend of other mums on MN we dropped the morning nap, brought lunchtime forward to 11.30/12 and started the afternoon nap just after lunch.... so far its been a week and it seems to be working... ocasionally she still needs a morning nap (if she's had a bad night or woken very early) and then i revert to the old routine and push lunch/afternoon nap back a bit... but i always maintain the same bedtime...

Good luck

[BotBotticelli]

could be teeth? my ds got his molars at 14mo and was a nightmare for about 2 weeks. I would recommend baby nurofen for your DD and wine for you!