I have a tricky 6 year old DD

[vitabrits]

My oldest of two. She isn't motivated to do much for herself, and prefers to watch TV rather than anything else. She is a very fussy eater. She resists independence in self care such as washing, blowing nose etc. Can do most things expected of her age but only if pushed constantly.

Is slow at gross motor. Not a fast runner, still training wheels on bike, the most uncoordinated one in ballet. Slow at reading but is improving with extra input at home.

Her good points - she is arty and creative, loves to design, exceeds expectations in the visual arts at school, loves singing and performing.

Has meltdowns easily.

Does have to go to exP every other weekend and half school holidays.

I've tried various strategies. She copes very well at school and they have no real concerns.

My current approach is going to be trying to give her as much attention as she needs, although that is hard for me as I am independent and like to do things on my own and be busy.

[LastingLight]

Your dd sounds a bit like mine at that age wrt gross motor, slow runner, training wheels etc. At 12 she is still a fussy eater so I'm afraid I have no advice on that one. If you say you are giving her all the attention she needs, what do you mean? Do you do things for her?

A few suggestions:

• Limit screen time. Go for walks, go to the park, swim etc.
  
• Play to her strengths. Make up a silly song about washing which she can sing in the bath while she washes.
  
• Have races, e.g. to see who can get dressed first.
  
• Let her draw pics of everything she needs to do in the morning (get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth) and stick those up on her wall. Encourage her to do things as per her pictures.
  
• Talk to exP and make sure he doesn't do everything for her when she is there.

[vitabrits]

Thanks lasting. About the attention thing, I've just been reading some threads and Internet pages that suggest if you have a really needy child, perhaps they are needing more of your attention and time than you are currently giving them.