Why do I have such an unhealthy relationship with food and how can I avoid passing this on to my DD?

[chuffinalong]

Hi, I'll give you some back ground info on myself. I have always been a skinny child. My mum was very overweight and was either on a strict diet or eating to excess. There was never a happy medium.
I didn't eat very much at all and from a very young age it was a battle to get me to eat enough. My younger brother on the other hand couldn't get enough food! He has always been overweight and always hungry.
Now as an adult, I go from healthy to slightly overweight, back to healthy and so on. I seem to have the same relationship with food as my mum. I'm either being healthy, I don't use the term diet at all, or I'm not! When I'm not, I will literally George myself on what ever I can find! Chocolate, sweets, puddings and afternoon teas most days. To be honest I feel quite out of control when I'm like it, but find it very hard to stop!
I have a 9 year old daughter, so it's so important to me to break this cycle. I've been so careful never to mention diets at all and I never criticise my body in front of her (or anyone else.) She is overweight and is like my brother, always hungry! She eats healthily but just too much. She's started saying that she's fat and other girls have told her too. :-( It's horrible when you work so hard to give a positive body image and other kids just dash that with one remark! I keep telling her that her body is healthy and she should be proud of all the things it can do, run, dance, swim etc. She also keeps telling me that I'm fat. I just say "oh, do you think so? I think I look pretty normal". If she still insists that I am, I just say "Oh well, never mind I'm happy with my body!". I'd love to know exactly what to say for the best.
So any advice would be warmly welcomed as this is an issue that has been worrying me for some time now. Thanks.

[chuffinalong]

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[chuffinalong]

Anyone?

[emberSept]

I'm in a similar position to you, and with a similar aged daughter. I've recently started getting therapy through a local NHS eating disorders unit and it it helping. Give it a go if you can, it's really helping me.

[Siennasun]

Don't have any useful advice but you sound like a brilliant mum OP.
How did you get referred to the eating disorders unit ember?

[LongDivision]

The more I struggle with my own eating, the more I think that it has something to do with sensory needs (rather than just emotional eating).
I love certain textures, or food that is particularly salty or sour or spicy.
I suppose eating is supposed to be pleasant and stimulating for the senses, but for me it seems to be... I don't know, more repetitive than it should be. so that even if I'm full, I am happy to keep crunching away at something because the crunching is such a nice sensation.
I have some autistic traits, and I suspect this type of sensory-seeking is related. Not sure how to stop it, though.

[chuffinalong]

Aww, thank you Siennasun! That's so interesting about the sensory aspect as I have other sensory 'issues'. I have a habit of hair twiddling and have to sleep with a hot water bottle even in the summer, which has to be as hot as I can stand it. (I know, I'm strange) I also really pay attention to the textures of food and like strong flavours, mostly sweet or sweet and salty together. Yummm

[chuffinalong]

I also never thought of this as an eating disorder! You just think of anorexia and bulimia. This is kind of the opposite but still an unhealthy kind of disordered attitude I suppose.

[chuffinalong]

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