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Behaviour/development

DS cries every time MIL visits

11 replies

processedbeats · 16/09/2014 08:59

He is 7m and he screams every time she comes over (which is weekly). He looks at her and starts hysterically crying then starts to calm down then looks at her again and starts crying etc etc etc for about 20-30mim until he calms down. Then for about an hour I have to hold him/play with him in front of her until he starts smiling at her, and about 2h later she can go near him, maybe even pick him up. If I leave the room or MIL goes near him too quick he starts screaming.
We tell MIL he is like that with everyone so she doesn't get upset but he isn't. He is totally fine with everyone else.
Apparently DSD was the same with my MIL when she was a baby up to about when she was 2.
My problem is - I am going back to work when he turns 1 and MIL will be looking after him twice a week. This already is stressing me out, I can't think of leaving him if he gets upset like that every time.
Is there anything I can do now???....

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scandichick · 16/09/2014 09:04

Watching with interest, my son is like this with the childminder he'll start with in a few weeks...

I don't have any advice, just sympathy!

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Coffeemonster1 · 16/09/2014 09:55

My lg did this with MIL around the same age. I have no idea why although she did have a thing about people with glasses on, made her cry lol. But suddenly it just stopped and we never worked it out. I know it's horrible but it will pass. Sit on the floor with MIL with him on your lap etc and play with his toys between you and her. Like you have having a great time. It will show him she is ok and can have fun with her. Eventually he will like her :)

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McGlashan · 16/09/2014 09:58

DS did this with FIL about the same age. They get over it. You have another 5 months before he has to be left with her.
TBH it's me that feels like crying now everytime I see FIL.

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processedbeats · 16/09/2014 11:41

McGlashan haha oh dear lol. Grin
Thanks all hopefully it's just phase and passes soon.

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Rinkydinkypink · 16/09/2014 11:43

Don't want to make light of this but I know how your ds feels GrinGrinGrin.

Mine did this but after a few months they grow out of it. Children can get anxious around 8-9 month stage.

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scarletforya · 16/09/2014 11:50

My dd is like this with her Grandfather, the only Grandparent she has. She is two and still like it. It's really sad and bothers me a lot. Her Grandfather cries about it and hasn't had a kiss from her since she was a small baby.

Everyone kept saying 'it's only a phase' but it's still the same.

Makes me so sad.

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Eastie77 · 16/09/2014 11:56

McGlashan Smile

My LO did this with her childminder and various other people at a similar age.
She now stretches out her arms to go the CM when I drop her off and doesn't bat an eyelid when I leave.

They go through phases and change very quickly. I recently posted my concern about the fact that DD was completely expressionless and didn't react at all when I left her with the CM. Out of the blue last week she suddenly started laughing and giggling when I hand her over.

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Eastie77 · 16/09/2014 11:58

Apologies scarletforya, x-post. My comment about phases is obviously not helpful in your context and am sorry about this situation with your dd's grandfather.

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scarletforya · 16/09/2014 12:06

Don't worry Eastie, maybe it's just a very looooooong phase!

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processedbeats · 16/09/2014 14:16

scarletforya my dsd was like that with MIL until she was 2 and a bit (which is why I'm worried my DS will be like that with her until he's 2...Hmm). MIL used to get really upset (which is why we now say that DS cries with everyone) but eventually DSD grew out if it. Fingers crossed it is just a really long phase for your dd.

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AdorableAbbie · 16/09/2014 16:28

Tell your MIL to visit your DS more frequently so that he can be used to seeing her more! Don't worry my DD is also like that when she was a baby!

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