7 year old behaving badly since back to school

[Jemster]

My ds 7 behaviour has really changed since going back to school.
He is rude, cheeky, disobedient, selfish and grumpy. I just can't seem to get through to him, have tried the softly softly approach but made no difference.
He has had two meltdowns in public this weekend when things haven't gone his way.
I have a demanding 2 year old aswell and I am exhausted and quite upset. Any punishments we given him he just says he doesn't care.
Please help as I don't know what to do with him.

[afussyphase]

Him, wish I knew! My 6yo is the same. I suspect that there are issues at school. In particular, the behaviour chart thing is frustrating because I doubt the teacher can really observe every instant of good or bad behaviour so perfectly as to make it fair, so it hangs there, this unobtainable goal (they get a prize if they get to 10on the damned thing). They see other children doing better. I know she tries so hard and feels she isn't moved up on this chart. Then she comes home and explodes over some minor thing. I also think she is bored. Apparently they have read the same simple story every day and done role play and art about it too. She rated it 20on a scale of 1-10, after I got through what that meant!

[afussyphase]

20 for boredom, that is. Posted too soon!

[Permanentlyexhausted]

I think it is an age thing. My children and most of my friends children went through this phase. At school they'll be realising that there are lots of things that their parents don't know and they'll be feeling more grown-up and getting more responsibility and independence (top of KS1, moved on up to KS2). Whenever mine were rude or cheeky I'd ask them if they think it would be acceptable to speak to their teacher that way. If you wouldn't speak to your teacher like that, you don't speak to your parents like it. Same for behavior.

[afussyphase]

I hope you're right. I'll try the teacher trick - DD is very good at school so clearly she doesn't think it's ok to behave that way with her teachers. OP have things gotten better?

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Yes I think, that suddenly in Y2 or Y3 DCs grow up. They feel more confident and independent, they want more of their own way.

Because school expects them to be grown up and responsible in the opposite way, being less individual and more compliant, they are torn.

Most DCs decide to be good at school and horrible at home