Telling my ds off when with friends even when I'm not sure he's in the wrong

[Jemster]

When I'm out with my ds & his friends and their mums I'm worried I am often too quick to blame him when their is an argument or if one of the other boys points the finger at him. Sometimes I think I'm not he sure he did anything that bad but because the other child either cried or tells their mum I feel I have to tell him off. I also feel like I need them to hear me being cross with him so I sometimes probably overdo it.
I'm not very assertive and would find it hard to tell another child offif their mum was there.
I feel like I'm being unfair at times to my son though.
Can anyone offer any advice please?

[murphy36]

Not sure how old your son is, but do you ever ask them who did it?

I'd be inclined to say to both kids to apologise whoever 'started it' other parents should be fine with that.

I'd then quiz my kid and if they fess up discipline them if needed, or don't if owning up and apologising was enough.

[Jemster]

Thank you, he is 7. I do ask what happened if I hear them arguing and I didn't see what caused it. But If the other child comes to me telling me my ds has done something I tend to just dive straight in and tell ds off and make him say sorry when I haven't really heard the whole story. I just find it hard in front of other mums knowing how to deal with these situations. I don't want them to think badly of me or ds but I also don't want to blame my ds when it's not all his fault.

[murphy36]

I'd ask him even if some other kid comes saying blah blah. If he didn't fess up after a bit of quizzing I'd still say they should 'apologise' to each other and shake hands or something.