Not sure how to handle ds(2.10) anymore...

[madmarchhare]

...or do I just stick with what I am doing?

He's a bit of a live wire, always on the go and only really ever stops when he's asleep (he sleeps well - thank god).

I know its a tricky time for any toddler, learning how to deal with all these new feelings, but when he gets angry, upset or even when he is really happy and excited he seems to just end up throwing or hitting in what seems to be frustration.

So we have a sort of time out system in place where we give the usual warning, remove from situation and time to think about it etc..all fully explained and so on. He apologises and seems to understand.

We have been consistant and have even stepped it up a bit by removing toys as well but it just doesnt seem to be working. Now either he is being very persistant in seeing how far he can go or I need to try something else, but what?

Like I said I am prepared to stick it out but I am slowly going mad here.

Any thoughts?

[mumtogusnalbie]

Hi madmarchhare, I also have a ds who is 2.5 and a bit of handful! He often hits, bites and throws toys at his poor brother (4.3).
I am on my own with the boys so there behaviour can really be testing sometimes but boys will be boys!!
I have set some new house rules which are 1.) no hitting mummy, 2.) no fighting in the house (I figured that no fighting altogether would probably take a miracle!), 3.) no helping yourself to food, 4.) mummys bedroom is out of bounds during daylight hours & 5.) no t.v. after 8.00pm.
Good behaviour is rewarded with a marble and bad behaviour results in a marble being taken away.
When 10 marbles have been won, I give them some pennies which they can then spend on a magazine or at the local car boot sale.
To be honest, this has worked far better than the naughty step and I have noticed a marked improvement in my youngest sons behaviour.
I truly believe that children thrive when they have boundaries in place - they need to have some basic guidelines to know whether their behaviour is good or bad.
Whatever method you choose, make sure you are strict in enforcing it (even if you are tired or really fed up) it will work in the end.
There is nothing better than snuggling up on the sofa with milk and a story when you have had a good, fun and tantrum free day!!
Hope this helps!!

[madmarchhare]

Thanks mtgna, oh we definately have boundries, thats whats so bloody annoying. Its what to do when the rules have been broken thats the issue really. Perhaps it's time for the pasta jar.

I should add that he rarely does have a full blown tantrum (they never bother me anyway as I will just ignore) and he is a very loving and giving little chap most of the time.

[JollyRogerMamaG]

My Ds was 2 in march and I don't think a pasta jar or reward system would work TBH, I just don't think he'd understand it, plus he's VERY strong willed, like your DS sounds MMH.


I think you should stick with what you are doing, it does take time but eventually it will work - a lot of it is just that he is 2 and that is what 2 year olds do

[madmarchhare]

Thats what I hope JR.

How do the rest of your chaps deal with your nearly three year olds?

[madmarchhare]

Shameless bump this monday morning in case any of you are bored at work.

[wrinklytum]

Dear MMH,I read on mn that boys have a huge tstosterone surge round about 3.I think if he is anything like my nearly 3 he is sussing out new and interesting ways to test the boundaries.It is very wearing but I think you are doing the right thing by continuing the TO/discipline and being firm but fair.The pasta jar thing sounds like a good idea and think I will have to try this.If its any consolation there will be 100s of other mums reading this with sympathy!!!(My little un isnt hitting so much but has recently started screaming at the top of his voice in frustration if disciplined,really earsplitting shrieks.)

[wrinklytum]

Testosterone,even!!!

[wrinklytum]

The pasta jar may work at nearly 3,a big difference in understanding from a just 2 to a nearly 3 well in ds case anyway as their linguistic skills are much more developed,there is a huge developmental leap in just a few months.

[madmarchhare]

Yes, a lot of it is the need to know that it isnt just you thats going through it. He he, you post when you are feeling crap about it all.

I think some of it may be the fact that he speaks very well and has done for quite a while and sometimes make the error of thinking he can undertand or should I say reason in his mind more than he actually can.

[wrinklytum]

Yes,sometimes think I may be a bit like this too,as ds has always been a fairly good talker(crap re physical development tho in comparison to similar age cousin!!) and uses complex sentences in the right context.I do try to explain things simply and clearly though but sometimes find myself thinking "Well he is only 2"as prev poster pointed out!!Oh dear wish they came with a manual