7 year old having terrible tantrums.Anxiety or bad behaviour?

[Headinthedraw]

I could really do with advice.My 8 year old DD has been having full on tantrums for a long while which have escalated to hurting me.She screams and becomes upset over being asked to do minor things, brushing her teeth, getting dressed, turning a program off etc.Clothes have become a major issue and she loses the plot over how material, seams and waistbands feel.She is really bothered by how he looks and will worry about an outfit (honestly I have no idea where she got this from-Im ready in 2 minutes flat) and fall to pieces if it isn't just right.She is really, really clingy to me-when she loses it she hangs off me-sometimes hurting me by grinding herself into me like he can't get close enough.I went back to work last year but its within school hours.I don't know what to do to help her-reward charts, earning a nice activity for dealing with a situation well, ignoring bad behaviour and lots of praise are in place.Consequences are loss of TV.She only really does it to me not my husband.Its really hard to ignore though as she screams in my face and pulls and pushes me, wraps herself round my legs and climbs up me.I can't hug her to calm her down-she squeezes really hard back and pushes into my ribs and writhes.Her behaviour at school has always been wonderful-her teacher couldn't believe it when I saw her last year about it.At home she is just so difficult.Anyone else have any experience of this?

[Headinthedraw]

Trying to disguise myself by saying Shes 8 then leaving her age in the title.She's 7.

[MizLizLemon]

Your DD sounds exactly like a close friend of mines 6 year old DD. She tantrums over the way clothes feel, not being able to get her hair right, not being able to decide what to wear.
Without going into too much detail the root cause of the tantrums are anxiety, they always increase in duration and frequency just before if just after situations the child finds stressful.

[Goldmandra]

Headinthedraw, you don't say an awful lot about other aspects of your DD's general development in your OP, so I may be very wide of the mark but it may help you to read a bit about girls with Asperger's syndrome.

Googling Tony Attwood is a good place to start as he has written lots about how girls are often missed because they disguise their symptoms so well.