i would be grateful of any tips for parenting my high need toddler. (3 yr old dd) i am a single parent which already has its challenges, i knew dd was more challenging from the start than my friends dcs and now that i have read all the definitions of 'high need' she really does tick all the boxes, which is quite a relief as now i know that this is what she is, and its not my fault. i know myself that i have been consistent up till now with discipline, but its very hard with my relatives as i was on holiday recently and they had very 'good' babies and toddlers and i felt they were judging me as if because i was a single parent this had affected her in some way, or that i wasn't disiplining the way i should.
one thing i am finding very hard is saying 'no' to her when out and about. its ok in the house, because she can have her tantrums but for example yesterday we were at soft play, i went to get a coffee (we had snacks in the car before we went in) and she wanted a bun. i would have said no being me, (the expense, the sugar, giving in to demands) but i felt controlled. i felt i had to say yes because if i didn't there would be a full scale melt down in busy soft play, i was too exhausted to deal with it, and so i said yes purely to avoid this. i know now this is a red flag for me, the fact that i am starting to give in to avoid tantrums, and i know if this continues she will expect she can ask for anything and get it and end up very spoilt, but the thing is, anyone who has a high needs child will understand that the scale of the tantrum is going to be way up there, and she might not have gotten over it, so we might not have even got into soft play. i realise now that i should have just said no, and took her home if this happened, but for me - keeping her out of the house is much easier than in the house and i was going to soft play to try to just get a bit of a breather. this is a very long post! i think i am just very frustrated and drained by the intensity of parenting at the minute. she is also becoming aggressive with other children, and she knows that if she does this she goes straight home, and she still does it. any tips welcome
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Behaviour/development
high need toddler
5 replies
howtoapproachthis · 26/08/2014 11:22
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