My sons need for everything to be 'tight'

(8 Posts)
Nikkiandrews08 Fri 22-Aug-14 23:30:37

Okay so basically my five year old for the last year and a half has had a major issue with everything needing to be ' tight' the car seat belt he likes pulled super tight, he wants a belt with every pair of trousers or shorts, he rolls his boxer shorts over, demands I tie a hair band around the back of his pyjama bottoms to there also tight, I've tried ignoring him it's getting worse! He will be inconsolable and get himself I'm such a state if I don't make sure these things are the way he wants them I just don't understand why? It's getting to the point now that he's actually breathing in more thinking I don't notice so when I do his belt up on his trousers it's even tighter he always tucks his shirts in it's driving me crazy! Any advice would be great!

CheesyBadger Fri 22-Aug-14 23:32:30

My sister was like this! Tight laces, socks, duvet tucked in under mattress. Turns out she has self confidence issues and is very volatile emotionally. Could it be a security thing?

Nikkiandrews08 Fri 22-Aug-14 23:37:28

I was thinking about it perhaps being a security. I'm not sure why he would be insecure or what I've done wrong for him to feel that way if it is sad didn't know weither to take him to see a doctor or weither that's a bit drastic?

adoptmama Sat 23-Aug-14 05:46:46

try looking for information on sensory seeking behaviours and/or highly sensitive children

Homebird8 Sat 23-Aug-14 06:05:21

I agree with adoptmama. For some children sensory feedback is very important. Some like things tight, or hot, or spicy, or soft, or colourful... Many different preferences but all ways of reducing arousal from other less pleasant stimulation. It can also be a way of dealing with emotional issues.

In itself having things tight isn't such a big deal though I would keep my eyes open as to other preferences and whether the need for them is greater in certain situations like social gatherings, times of change, doing things with pressure to perform (sport, homework etc.). Signs of being a bit of a perfectionist are worth looking for as are anxieties about normal things.

Don't think you have done anything wrong. You absolutely haven't. If he is otherwise happy and settled then it may just be the way he is. If he is anxious or showing signs you are worried about then you might need to talk with your GP but I would be surprised if they 'get it' unless they are experienced.

Some people are just more sensitive than most. My DS1 is. Just takes a bit of getting used to when he mentions sounds, or sights, or textures, tastes, smells that the rest of us haven't even noticed and finds some of them unbearable (noise in a pool hall or shopping mall is sometimes a problem, common smells make him nauseous, and there are some fabrics he just will not wear). Feel free to PM me if you want to know more.

Nikkiandrews08 Sat 23-Aug-14 07:58:17

Thanks guys I've taken it all on board I will look up the sensory side of it, I'm sure he's fine just when he get hysterical about these little things I just can't understand it, he won't even listen to my reasoning as to why he can't have his trousers so tight, I don't want him to do himself an Injury. I'll keep you posted on my findings

Hurr1cane Sat 23-Aug-14 08:23:26

I was also going to say it sounds like sensory seeking behaviour.

You could try activities like rolling a gym ball over him, wrapping him up in a sheet, making a Lycra tunnel, giving him deep pressure hugs, you could buy him a weighted lap pad or neck pad

PolterGoose Sat 23-Aug-14 09:32:05

I too would look into sensory processing, the book 'The Out of Sync Child' is a good place to start smile

You might want to try a light compression top like this Sensory Hug Top from Sensory Smart.

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