Son bitten at nursery

(37 Posts)
govind123 Fri 08-Aug-14 17:55:32

Hi,

my son (18 months) has been bitten a few times at a child care nursery.
Happens at least once a week, if not more, for the past few weeks
Everytime, the staff assure us they are taking appropriate steps, they are shadowing the problem child, keeping a close eye on my son, asking for expert help, etc etc. But obviously whatever they are doing is not working.
They even told us they have spoken to the other child's parents
At this age group(18 months) not sure if they can be advised or understand right from wrong

So far there has been no broken skin, only deep bite marks.
I am at my wit's end & not sure what to do? Thinking of shifting my son but no places in the other child care nurseries near my place

I pay a huge amount as fees, and yet I dread when I get a call saying he's had another accident and got bitten

Can anyone advice?

Thanks

jonicomelately Fri 08-Aug-14 18:01:06

Some children are biters at this age. It doesn't mean they're a 'problem child' or naughty. My dn was a biter and, now, at 18' is just about the nicest, most sensible girl you could ever meet.
Apart from separating this child from your son there is probably very little you can do. I understand that it must be upsetting for you though.

mamababa Fri 08-Aug-14 18:04:47

Moving your child is pointless IMO. Children in this age group bite and pinch, not all but a lot do. It's likely in another setting he will get bitten. Your child may even become s biter. Nursery watch but they can't monitor all children every second so unless you are paying for one to one care I should think they are doing their best.

Hurr1cane Fri 08-Aug-14 18:08:36

I agree. A childminder might suit your needs better if you're getting this upset over it, or a nanny?

LightastheBreeze Fri 08-Aug-14 18:08:41

Years ago when my DS was small there was a biter at nursery and my DS got bitten a few times. It is very distressing but unfortunately quite common at that age, so if you were to change nursery the same may happen again.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Fri 08-Aug-14 18:19:27

DS1 was bitten twice at nursery at a similar age, I get it that these things happen but - week in week out is excessive!

Is it a really big/busy nursery?

LightastheBreeze Fri 08-Aug-14 18:32:02

Is it just you're child being bitten, or other children in the nursery. When my DS was bitten it was happening to others as well.

govind123 Fri 08-Aug-14 20:33:36

In his toddler room, other children are bitten too. But less frequently
My son is apparently extra friendly with this other child who bites.

I asked them why they can't be separated or to be more cautious if they happen to be together
Standard response is -'it happened in a split second'
The room has a ratio of 2-3 minders at any given time for 7-10 children

Eva50 Fri 08-Aug-14 20:37:43

He shouldn't be being bitten once a week or more, that's ridiculous. Ds1and ds3 were each bitten once at nursery. I would tell the nursery that they must take the safeguarding of your child more seriously or look for a childminder.

ChangeYouFucker Fri 08-Aug-14 20:39:36

I don't fully agree with other posters just saying 'it happens at this age'. Yes it does but for it to happen repeatedly to the se child is not OK.

If I was you I would ask for a chat with the manager in a nice way but highlight your concerns and ask him/her whAt action plan/risk assessment they are going to put in place.

My DS us 19mo and I would not be happy if this was happening. I accept toddlers bite (in fact my DS is a biter) but it is MY responsibility as the ADULT to do what I need to do to ensure other children don't he hurt (namely my DD!).

ChangeYouFucker Fri 08-Aug-14 20:40:20

Terrible typos sorry!

Patrickstarisabadbellend Fri 08-Aug-14 20:40:50

I remember when my ds was bitten on the cheek really hard. It broke my heart.

Vicky5910 Fri 08-Aug-14 20:46:55

Oh gosh i'd be gutted if my dd was bitten while in childcare, even once, but several times isn't on! I don't blame the kid bitig, the adults should be ensuring they safeguard the children!
A childminder might be an option if the nursery staff can't do their job properly. My dd is nearly 4yo and hated nursery. Her childminder still does the 15hours, an takes her to groups and she gets lots of time with other children while having a really close relationship with her smile

kkllww Sat 09-Aug-14 08:37:44

Kids will get bitten but for it to be happening this often isn't acceptable. As the nursery know what child is responsible, I would have a meeting with the manager and insist they implement a proper plan to ensure the biter is observed closely so he/she isn't given the opportunity to bite. I'm really surprised they aren't already doing this.

murphy36 Sat 09-Aug-14 22:19:02

I'd want a proper plan from the nursery and start looking for a childminder if it upsets you and is happening too much.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 22:22:08

It is possible the other child has additional needs, not saying they do just throwing it out there ......

Pico2 Sat 09-Aug-14 22:26:48

It's normal to have the occasional bite, but this is really not acceptable. You need to arrange a meeting with the nursery manager. My DD was bitten once at that age, and she put her finger in the child's mouth, so I don't think it was entirely unreasonable to be bitten. But every week is not on.

Mumof3xox - the child might have additional needs, but that is entirely irrelevant. The OP's child has the right not to be bitten. The staff have a duty to ensure that.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 22:30:12

Yes they do but some children who have additional needs will bite repeatedly and in a split second
If the nursery is unable to gain funding for 1-1 support for this child it would be a struggle! And even with 1-1 it can still happen

Pico2 Sat 09-Aug-14 22:37:16

Honestly, none of that is the OP's problem - it is the nursery's problem. The OP just needs to ensure that the nursery is able to provide a safe environment for her toddler.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 22:40:22

I just think a bit if stepping back and thinking about the bigger picture may not go a miss

As others have said if the op is so upset she could move him, although of course he may then meet another biter. Who knows

DikTrom Sat 09-Aug-14 22:51:21

Very young children may bite because:
- going through sensory phase, eg putting everything in their mouth, and some don't just taste but bite as well
- teething
- frustration

The nursery should know by now what the trigger is for this child and address it so your ds is not bitten. Not saying that this necessarily is the case, but if the biter is either being overstimulated or understimulated (bored) then it could mean that the nursery is at least not meeting the needs of this specific child.

I would raise it with the person in charge verbally and maybe follow up in writing and look at other childcare options in the meantime. Don't be surprised if your DS starts biting given how frequently he has now been bitten.

Pico2 Sat 09-Aug-14 22:52:17

What does stepping back and looking at the bigger picture do? Should the OP say "the biter may have additional needs, so it's fair enough that DS gets bitten regularly"?

Hurr1cane Sun 10-Aug-14 01:57:17

Pico what are you on about? No ones on about additional needs these are babies.

I'd take a muzzle in
But then i am a passive aggressive twat lol

Kids will bite/get bitten - but what you describe in the op would have me foaming at the mouth. It really is too much.

MorphineDreams Sun 10-Aug-14 03:29:08

Not sure why the first posters are almost excusing this.

Your child shouldn't be bitten at all. I would request a meeting with the manager to see how they're dealing with this because it is completely unacceptable that it has been allowed to happen numerous times.

If they cannot address it I would report it a a safe guarding issue and remove your child.

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