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Behaviour/development

The dummy thing....

4 replies

superbabysmummy · 03/08/2014 08:41

Hi everyone,

Haven't posted for a while for one reason and another, it's nice to be back!

Wanted some advice re. dummies. DD is 21 months and has suddenly become very reliant on her dummy, whilst she has only ever really had it for sleep times and has been quite happy to leave it in her bed, in the last 6 weeks or so she wants it all the time and if she hasn't got it becomes VERY distressed - even when she hands it over for meal times etc. she's clearly thinking about it.

Any tips on how to reduce the dependency?

Smile

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NinjaLeprechaun · 03/08/2014 11:51

My suggestion would be don't? The more you try and take it away the more anxious about it she's likely to get. You could give her the option of leaving it at home when you go out - so she doesn't lose it, of course - but don't make a big fuss about it.
Transitional objects are common at that age, when they're realizing that they're individual people and their parents aren't extensions of themselves, eventually she won't need it anymore.

(The only rule I had for my daughter at that age was that she wasn't allowed to talk with it in her mouth. I hate that.)

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bumpiesonamission · 03/08/2014 11:53

I agree with pp. have a look at what else is going on that she needs soothing for? has she started nursery or childcare? new sibling? she is obviously needing it for some reason, don't try to part her yet.

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GingerDoodle · 03/08/2014 12:38

My DD has just turned 22 months and has got my obsessive on dummy front - but she is (in the main) only allowed it for travelling (car / buggy) and for bed. I'm quite strict on her not having it wandering round (have been since she was quite small). That said if we are out and I need her calm / quiet I do have one on backup.

We have a dummy ' bag' (little handbag) that the dummies go in when she gets up. She does like to play with the bag / dummies if we are upstairs which I don't mind and sometimes will bring the bag downstair (and promptly gets marched upstairs to put it back lol). She now likes to put the dummy in a 'bag' if we are out and she is getting out of the buggy too...

We had a huge wobble when we came back from holiday a month or so ago as she had been allowed it more during the day - I just bit the bullet and said no - cue day of screaming but she doesn't ask for it much now.

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superbabysmummy · 03/08/2014 22:30

I like the dummy bag! I think I might steal that :-)

Not sure what the root cause is TBH, no siblings, no childcare changes other than that I am changing my work arrangements to be with her more (that only happened on Fri so she hasn't seen the effect of it yet!).

Guessing it might be because she's been in full time childcare since 5 months but surely she should be used to it, or maybe it's caught up on her?

She is cuddled lots and we don't make an issue out of the dummy in front of her, it's just makes me sad that she needs it all the time now.

Thanks everyone for the feedback x

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