I really need some advice about DD at the moment.
She is 6, beautiful, clever and loved very much. She lives with DH and I and DS and goes to visit her RD every other weekend and half of the school holidays. Recently she has been coming home in floods of tears and XH has literally had to shoo her to me - which as you can imagine is heartbreaking for me - its like she doesn't want to be with me and after spending tens of thousands of pounds and going through months and months of heartache to get custody of her I just feel like I am not doing well enough at being a good mum to make her want to be with me.
I know she only does fun things at XHs house, well his mothers - 3 years after the divorce and he has bought a speed boat rather than a house, thats the kind of wild, wacky, irresponsible man he is (as well as bveing a drunk!!).
I know part of it is because I am the one who has to make sure she is kept to a routine, I am the one who has to nag her to get her skates on in the morning or we are going to be late for school and to eat all of her porridge and all of the boring things but how can I make her see that I love her just as much as he does - I just think differently about how a child shuld be brought up and have DS to consider too.
Then last night she went out with XH and came back in floods of tears - he had taken her for dinner (not in his visitation but as she said she missed him I said he could take her out to dinner the Thursday before the weekend that he doesn't have her!) and then bought her a stuffed toy (£2.50 in ASDA) which apparently was the best thing that she had gotten for ages - nothing to say anything about the £60 I spent on stupid trainers with wheels in the sole that she harped on about and I caved in to last week!!
I just feel like I can't do anything right, I can't be as fun as him because I have to do all the important run of the mill feeding and educating and making sure she gets enough sleep kind of things.
To top it all off she went to XHs last weekend and came back on Sunday in such a state that I had to keep her off of school on Monday - she couldn't keep her eyes open - had had a sleepover with 2 friends Saturday night and swam all day Sunday and was famished because she had only had sausage and beans for breakfast on Sunday and a few crisps after swimming - when I tackeled XH about this he said that it was nonsense and that I was making it up because I was pissed off that she hates coming back to me after being with him.
I just don't know what to do - she is so precious to me and its so lovely the 4 of us in our family and I try so so hard to be a good mum but when he throws things like that at me it just slices me in half.
What am I to do to make her want to come back to me and DH and DS??????
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Why is DD behaving like this????
10 replies
Twinkie1 · 15/09/2006 13:52
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dinosaur ·
15/09/2006 14:32
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