Should he be able to write his name or am I panicking over nothing?

(18 Posts)
Mixedupmind Mon 28-Jul-14 21:30:45

So we've spent the day with a friend of ours who incidentally is a nursery manager and has a son 2 months younger than mine.
She was showing me drawings he had done, and how he can write his name ( Matthew ) perfectly, which is can.
My sons name is 6 letters and easier to write in my opinion yet my son shows no interest in doing it.
He can do the first letter occasionally but often will just refuse or say no he isn't doing it or just start scribbling all over the page!
He will turn 4 in 3 months time and will be starting reception next year

Neeko Mon 28-Jul-14 21:32:09

He's not 4 yet. Give him a break. Your friend was showing off. Ignore it.

Stopmithering Mon 28-Jul-14 21:39:43

Don't worry about it.
Your DS won't be asked at his first job interview "when did you first write your own name?"
He'll get there in his own time and that will be right for him.
It's easy to get sucked into the comparison thing but I would just enjoy your DS as he is.

exexpat Mon 28-Jul-14 21:40:50

Really not an issue at age three - I agree your friend was showing off. DS certainly couldn't write his name at that age (very simple name, all straight lines in capitals), but DD could.

DS had no interest in even holding a crayon most of the time at that age (too busy constructing complicated train layouts with his Brio). DD loved anything arty and was always happiest scribbling things and drawing. They are both very bright, highly academic children, but completely different personalities and interests.

Pico2 Mon 28-Jul-14 21:41:53

My DD is about the same age. She can reliably scrawl some of the letters of her name, generally back-to-front and often not in the right order depending on where she starts on the paper and how much room is left. She has a really easy name to write. DD will often refuse and scribble instead. In contrast, one of her friends (same age) signed DD's 3rd birthday card with a much more difficult name.

I am very proud of what DD can do, and her nursery are pretty happy with her. What she can't do at the moment seems rather inconsequential. I think that I have pretty much always taken that stance with DD - the things she can do are amazing and the things she can't do but her peers can are trivial. It saves a load of angst and confirms my rather biased opinion that DD is great.

Mumof3xox Mon 28-Jul-14 21:42:15

My eldest child could write his name at this age
His younger brother could not

They are now working at the same levels in reading and writing in school so it has made little difference! They have just finished year 1 and reception

Mine is similar age and he can't write his name yet. He is just starting to trace letters at preschool and recognises the first letter of his name. He wasn't interested at all before.

I always tell a friend who started comparing our DC to her friends DC at private school, by the time they are 20, they'll all be able to read, write and do maths.

SusannahD Mon 28-Jul-14 21:44:38

Really don't worry, my son in nearly 4 and can't write yet. Too interested in trains and bikes. He will hold a crayon for a little while but not very long.

Mixedupmind Mon 28-Jul-14 21:49:13

Thankyou so much
It was very boastful the way it was said
Its always been apparent how different our kids are, hers has always enjoyed reading books / writing / drawing / doing little shows whilst mine is football / sport mad / can climb anything and never fall and and is amazing at gymnastics and generally all things physical.
I just panicked as she has said he should be in pre school since he was 2, I've always disagreed and she seemed to almost say the reason he couldn't do it was because he hasn't been!

CafeAuLaitMerci Mon 28-Jul-14 21:54:19

She's being a twat smile

They are all different and there is absolutely NO issue with him not being able to write his name at his age. None. Forget it, let him enjoy his life, doing what he wants to do, without stressing about unimportant stuff like that. It will all come in good time.

dietcokeandwine Mon 28-Jul-14 22:17:06

Smile and ignore, OP, smile and ignore.

She is boasting and deliberately showing off and, from the sounds of things, deliberately trying to make you feel insecure.

Don't be.

Your boy will be fine.

Esmum07 Mon 28-Jul-14 22:24:43

DS couldn't write his name before he started school, unless we did little 'join the dots' for him to follow, which we did for birthday cards to family etc.

He is now 7 and according to his teacher has a reading and spelling ability of a twelve year old (not doing a boasting mummy bit, just to say that kids get into a roll when they start school and some peak,some dip for a while)

Your DC will catch up at school and no one will know who did what at what age by the time they are all at secondary school!

Pico2 Mon 28-Jul-14 22:28:14

I think you need to practice (in your head) saying "Oh, it is a shame that X can't climb that tree, I suppose some children are just less coordinated and adventurous than others." You don't need to every say it to her, but every time she boasts about her DS, just imagine that you have said that and do a bit of a patronising look and head tilt. The other stuff will just wash over you.

All children are great little individuals and it is important to focus on what he can do and what he is interested in, not the abilities and interests of someone else's child.

Mixedupmind Mon 28-Jul-14 22:33:15

You're all right, my son is brilliant at lots of things others aren't and I shouldn't stress over these unimportant things!
I just had a doubtful moment where I felt I'd let him down by not practising writing from a younger age!

306235388 Mon 28-Jul-14 22:37:10

Stop panicking,my dd is almost exactly the same age. She can write her name but by no means perfectly and her drawings are a circle with a face and arms and legs grin

Ds is now 7 and didn't write his name or draw a recognisable picture until he was 5.5.

Chill, your Ds is still just teeny.

RonaldMcDonald Mon 28-Jul-14 22:45:41

None of mine could read write or anything really by the time they started school at 4
I wanted them to have fun and be small kids
They are currently working 2+yrs ahead of their year group which is highly irritating for their teachers. They love to learn.
It isn't a race...everyone gets there in the end and play is hugely important whilst manual dexterity is a continuum of development at this age
It'll be grand

Devora Mon 28-Jul-14 22:47:24

My eldest could write her name at this age, but her name is about the easiest in the world to write - my cat could probably do it. My youngest is rising 5 and has a good stab at writing her name, but most of the letters are upside down and back to front.

I honestly don't think you should be worried.

mousmous Mon 28-Jul-14 22:51:25

plenty of time to learn to write.
he's not even in school yet! still nearly a baby. he's supposed to tumble about and play as he likes.
dc1 din't even want to pick up a pen before starting reception. didn't hinder progress at all.

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