Hyperactive child, how to cope??

(14 Posts)
indiaaah Mon 28-Jul-14 10:17:15

Hi my son is 6 and he has always been full of energy which is great but now, as hes getting older, its starting to become a problem because its affecting his school work and i am stressed out!!!!!!!!! Parenting hasnt been an enjoyable experience unfortunately because of various reasons and i am at the point where there needs to be a serious change. i have tried parenting classes, read books, healthy diets and cutting out sugar, star charts etc etc etc you name it. i love my son extremely and i want to enjoy bonding with him. i have tried taking him to the doctors but they are too fast to refer him to a child therapist which again, ive tried and scared the life out of my boy (scary woman) He doesnt have ADHD, this is something ive looked into already and ive been told his behavior isnt consistent with a child who has adhd. so.....i have a hyperactive 6 year old son and i would like to know of any natural/herbal supplements he can take to calm him. i feel guilty for telling him off now when he does something inappropriate and i can feel him start to resent me a little as hes constantly being told off about his behavior when in all honestly, the majority of the time, to him, hes being "normal". can anyone recommend anything please???

Happy36 Mon 28-Jul-14 21:26:42

Sorry if my ideas sound amateurish or old-fashioned or if you've tried them already.

As a teacher I do come across students who are hyperactive (but not diagnosed adhd).

1. Keep a brief diary of what he eats and what behaviour results - then look for links (could also record time of day foods are eaten, and exercise done that day).

2. Try to let him get plenty of fresh air and opportunities to run around.

3. At home assign him some chores that will make him feel responsible and also keep him from getting bored - the overall effect should be that he is able to focus on the task in hand (jobs that involve going up and downstairs can be mutually rewarding!)

4. Within reason and where possible allow him to start activities such as homework or bathing, dressing, eating a meal in his own time. Get out the materials and let him come over to look at them when he is ready.

5. Praise him when he is able to concentrate for periods of time even if they are spent on play/fun activities.

I hope this helps.

indiaaah Tue 29-Jul-14 15:29:13

Hi thank you for your response. I have tried all of this things already. Apart from letting him do things in his own time, this would be major disruption as he likes his routine. People often try to help and offer suggestions which I'm grateful for but I have pretty much tried everything I can think of. I try to stay as consistent as I can but I'm raising him alone and work full time but I try my best. I can not accept this is how it will be because it's causing a rift in our relationship and I can't have that. Thank you for your advice x

Happy36 Tue 29-Jul-14 15:38:51

Sorry not to have been more helpful. I hope you and your son can work towards a more positive outcome somehow and allay your concerns.

My son is 6 too. I would have bet our life savings that his favourite food is nutella but I have just this minute overheard him tell his uncles it's coleslaw!

Jinty64 Tue 29-Jul-14 17:13:12

I think, if his behaviour is affecting his school work and your relationship, it would be best to ask the school or your GP for a referral for further assessment. Are you in the UK?

sewingandcakes Tue 29-Jul-14 17:26:35

See the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Does his hyperactive behaviour happen all the time or in particular situations?

Ds1 has always been hyperactive when we go to loud, busy places, when he has to wait, when we visit relatives that we don't see often, and when he came back from staying with grandparents. He's got a diagnosis of ADHD, but is being assessed for ASD, and I think most of his hyperactive behaviours are a response to him feeling discomfort in the situations he is in.

I'm not suggesting that your ds has ASD, but it's worth asking for professional advice. You've clearly tried so many different methods of dealing with his behaviour and I understand how hard it is to parent a child who doesn't respond to the usual techniques.

sewingandcakes Tue 29-Jul-14 17:28:57

How is he at bedtime? Is he able to get to get to sleep easily?

micah Tue 29-Jul-14 17:35:19

I stuck mine in every sport I could think of. Dance, swimming, gymnastics, martial arts.

Once she got good and we got to training 15 hrs+ a week the general hyperactivity calmed down. The discipline helps too.

If a session is missed though it gets mental again smile

Spotsonmydots Tue 29-Jul-14 17:42:21

Have you tried omega oil? Also limiting TV/screens?

stargirl1701 Tue 29-Jul-14 17:46:08

Could you manage swimming? Preferably, every day? Lengths of the pool though not playing in the water? Swim club? One-to-one instructor? Group swimming lessons?

I've been teaching 20 years and swimming always seems to tire children out like no other form of exercise.

Gen35 Tue 29-Jul-14 18:02:20

If it's a herbal/vitamins etc supplement recommendation you might try asking on your local mumsnet site if anyone had a practitioner in your area they recommend. Sounds very tough op.

indiaaah Wed 30-Jul-14 10:22:16

Thank you to everyone for posting suggestions. He has had a bedtime routine from a very young age. Stopped napping in the day at 18 months old and slept 11-12 hours at night but not straight through as he suffered night terrors. I realised from an early age how important routine is so his dinner time and bathtime etc is set times. He was going football twice a week and one point aswel as swimming lessons. It has helped but I've noticed his behaviour is quite bad when he's excited about something, getting him to calm and relax himself is very difficult. I have taken him to see a gp on a few occasions and he was referred to a child psychologist who didn't help at all. He felt even more insecure after seeing her. He's also been to play therapy as he suffered from regression too but this made his behaviour worse. I feel lost in all honesty, I just want to have a healthy relationship with my son and I'm trying to find avenues of making that happen x

indiaaah Wed 30-Jul-14 10:22:40

Yes I live in uk, London

PolterGoose Wed 30-Jul-14 18:57:32

If it's affecting his learning then a proper assessment by a developmental paed/child development clinic would be best I think. These things take time and his behaviours could be a whole lot worse by the time you get seen, or, alternatively, you'll find a miracle cure or he'll grow out of it and you can cancel the appointment. This way you hedge your bets, just in case.

There's a fantastic programme often run by OTs called the Alert Programme, which is all about optimising concentration. You could approach your school nurse and see if it's available in your area.

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