Sending a child into reception with no previous nursery / pre school experience...a problem or not?

(22 Posts)
Mixedupmind Thu 24-Jul-14 21:17:12

Well the title says it all really
My son ( October born so one of the eldest ) was due to start at school nursey this September
After being incredibly unhappy with it for a few reasons and a job opportunity coming up for my husband 40 miles away we have decided to relocate and move in October
Obviously this rules out the school nursery completely
Luckily ( I think ) the area we are moving to don't have any school nurseries attatched to the schools so my son isn't missing out on what I used to think was ideal, a few hours in the same setting with the same children he will go onto reception with.
So now the decision is to find a pre school from next January - July which accepts government funding ( these seem scarce in the area, the nurseries seem to do half days at a minimum which means we would be paying approx £100 a months for it ) or just enjoy my year with him and send him into reception next year and if he struggles with it use my right to defer until the term after he is 5 / request part time hours?
Any opinions most welcome!

Heyho111 Thu 24-Jul-14 22:45:53

Children need to be around other children to learn how to interact socially with their peers. They also learn through copying other children. It really helps their development.
If he doesn't go to nursery could you take him to a play group a few times a week or a play and stay group.

Mixedupmind Thu 24-Jul-14 23:21:01

We already do lots of these and have done since he was walking!
In addition we go to lots of soft plays / parks etc.
My only concern is how unsettling it would be him getting used to a setting and then having to move him a few months later

scottishmummy Thu 24-Jul-14 23:25:17

Why have you chosen to minimise contact with other kids,do take up free nursery place
Why are yiu seeking to defer?you seem very set on keeping child at home with you
Do you feel anxious about nursery school?you need to hide any misgivings from son

Seriouslyffs Thu 24-Jul-14 23:26:19

If he's starting in January, can you look around now for a short course around next christmas holidays- something that he's interested in? I had similar concerns with DS and sent him on a 4 day holiday gym course to get him used to taking turns, following instruction etc.

Mixedupmind Thu 24-Jul-14 23:30:44

Where have I said that?
I'm saying I'm concerned with him starting a nursery he will only be at for 5 months before starting reception, nothing about wanting him away from other children!
We socialise with other kids every day at stay and plays etc
If we were moving prior to September he could have had a full year at pre school but as we are not moving until October apparently we will miss the cut off for government funding so it is January for 5 months or nothing

scottishmummy Thu 24-Jul-14 23:42:33

So put him in nursery.kids are robust he'll enjoy and it's way to meet new parents/kids
Your post did seem to be resistant to nursery,you allude to being glad no preschool nursery
Nursery prepares for group settings, good for confidence,stimulating.its different to playdate

tilbatilba Thu 24-Jul-14 23:52:59

My dd's didn't go to nursery and I'm sure didn't make any difference. Had a circle of friends and they had lovely unrushed days. I would just enjoy your year with him.

UriGeller Fri 25-Jul-14 00:03:12

Its no big deal. There weren't always nurseries that kids went to, they seem to have grown quite recently. I don't know any adults my age who weren't just sent to school around 4-5. At that age they far more receptive to the rules and are more able to adjust to being away from the home.

I'm taking my ds out of nursery, he doesn't enjoy it and says its "rubbish", he has far more fun, gets a broader education (than just learning how to sit on a carpet) and interacts more socially with other children and adults when we are out and about.

Mixedupmind Fri 25-Jul-14 00:03:15

Yes but my resilience is due to the fact that I don't want him to have to adapt to 2 massive changes in the space of 8 months not for any other reason

AstonishingMouse Fri 25-Jul-14 00:05:16

Mixed up, when you said it is lucky that there aren't any school nurseries in your new area do you mean you don't like or approve of school nurseries? Or that he wouldn't get a place anyway because of when you are moving so it is lucky that the area doesn't even have any?

Has he ever been looked after by anyone other than you or immediate family? If not I think I would be inclined to see if a pre school was available even if it was only for two terms. Although I'm not clear why he couldn't start in October, even if only for a couple of sessions a week.

I would think some children will cope fine with going straight from home to full days at school, but I think others will find this a lot to get used to. I think it was pretty standard when I was a child, and I can still remember how upset I was when my mum tried to drop me at school, and I was apparently something of a clingy wreck for quite a long time. My siblings were more or less fine though. I imagine some shorter sessions prior to school would have made the whole thing less of a shock.

I don't think its a huge problem. There were 4 children in dc's class who had never attended nursery prior to starting school. They are very happy, confident kids. I was amazed how quickly they settled into school life.

Mixedupmind Fri 25-Jul-14 08:51:21

No def the latter!
I was glad there were no school nurseries as i would have worried he was missing out on not attending but as the move is in October obviously we wouldn't have been able to apply anyway.
The pre schools we visited said he cannot start in October as the funding application would need to be done before the break for half term so we would either have to pay from October - January ourselves or wait until the January but then he doesn't get long there, maybe the better option is to pay if its so important he goes!
I honestly am seeking opinions here on this as I'm unsure, he's my first and whilst he is outgoing and confident I worry full days is a lot for a child that's never been to one of those settings.

NinjaLeprechaun Fri 25-Jul-14 10:23:45

My daughter started school at 5 without ever having gone to preschool of any kind. It wasn't a problem.
She did complain a bit because her friends would talk about the good old days in pre-K, and she'd missed out on the fun, but that lasted less than a year.

Mixedupmind Fri 25-Jul-14 21:07:01

Was there a reason you didn't send her?

Muskey Fri 25-Jul-14 21:14:56

When I was a child obviously a long time ago it was very unusual for children to be in nursery before they started school and yet we all managed to interact without anything terrible happening. Don't feel guilty just enjoy your dc and just watch how well he does making friends when he starts school

NinjaLeprechaun Fri 25-Jul-14 23:09:42

Because I'm a lentil weaving hippy I never had a reason to send her to preschool. I strongly considered homeschooling as well. The only reason I did send her at that point was that I thought peer group socialization was important, but I'm not convinced anymore that it's true at that age.
I don't think she would have done well in a classroom setting earlier, and she didn't miss out on any socialization or education by not going.

I'm not opposed to preschools on principle, my mum owned one when I was growing up, and I worked in childcare (both private and group settings) for years. But, as long as they're getting socialized and generally intellectually challenged/stimulated elsewhere, I don't think it's necessary for most children. Children can't learn anything in a classroom that they can't learn elsewhere.

Mixedupmind Sat 26-Jul-14 09:35:54

Ninja
You've summed up how u feel and that's probably why I'm struggling to try and find a place for a few months and fundamentally I'm not sure it's needed

Koothrapanties Sat 26-Jul-14 09:42:14

I have no advice I'm afraid, but I just wanted to see what is said on this topic. I don't really want to send dd to nursery.

Mixedupmind Sun 27-Jul-14 13:32:19

Thanks for the replies so far!

majormoo Mon 28-Jul-14 17:55:34

Being an October born will be a big advantage for him either way so just do what feels right for you. Am sure teachers are used to dealing with all kinds of pre-school experience including none.

I have 4 and my elder three all did pre-school nursery which was great for them. My youngest starts in September. My middle two boys went to a gorgeous state run nursery school but it was not attached to a specific school. The children went off to a variety of schools and I have to say I love it now when my ds who is 8 ends up playing football in a park with boys who recognise him from being at nursery.

Mine are all quite shy under their loud exteriors so it definitely helped them. Maybe yours is more confide!nt

Mixedupmind Mon 28-Jul-14 20:12:17

He is quite confident but not so much in new surroundings etc so that's what's swaying me towards a pre school before actual school.
Maybe im over thinking of the trauma I imagine settling him somewhere for all of what 5 months excluding holidays to start him again somewhere else!

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