Hello everyone,
I am extremely concerned about the way relatives of mine are behaving toward their children. One of the children in question, who is six years old, sometimes has problems going to sleep. On two separate occasions, her father has taken her out of bed, quite late at night, smacked her (on at least one occasion), placed her in the car, driven her to the police station, sat outside with her in the car, and threatened to take her inside if she didn't go to sleep, as punishment.
The child’s older sister (13 years old) was so disturbed at listening to this one night, she told a teacher at school that she was scared for the safety of her younger sister. Someone from the school rang my relative, but my relative said that the 13 year old was just getting her own back about being grounded for having a boyfriend. According to my relative, the school accepted this explanation, said they would monitor the 13 year old and her boyfriend, and that no further action would be taken. The 13 year old found this out on the way home from school and was so scared of her step-father, that she began crying hysterically at a friend’s house and wouldn't go home.
However, this is not the first incident of emotionally abusive behaviour (in my opinion) this parent has shown towards his children, but one of many, and it seems to be getting worse. The 13 year old is constantly and excessively monitored. Sometimes she has to have her bag searched before going out. She has to hand over her mobile phone/tablet so that my relatives can read her text and email messages. If found to have been in contact with a boy, or to have done something ‘wrong’, she has her Facebook account deactivated, her mobile phone and tablet confiscated. She is also regularly grounded (currently for 3 months), which also includes the confiscations and not being able to stay with her grandmother at the weekend, as part of the punishment. I've noticed that the 13 year old is becoming quieter and withdrawn.
The six year old is also excessively monitored, especially at meal times, constantly being told to eat ‘all’ her food, or face some punishment or other. My relatives regularly call her the ‘devil child’ in front of other people, and find it amusing to do so. The six year old is having difficulties at school, and has been bossy with other children, thus she has few friends. She has a lock on the ‘outside’ of her bedroom door. She also has an imaginary friend who she talks to regularly – I know that this can be classed as normative childhood development, but it could also be a coping strategy, considering the pressure she's under to always be a 'perfect child'.
Both children are constantly shouted at, belittled, and threatened with disproportionate punishments to their supposed wrongdoing. They have no privacy, no right to express themselves, or disagree with their parents, especially their father. Their grandmother has mentioned that my relatives are too strict with their children, only to receive threats that they will not allow her to see the children if she continues with any criticism, whatsoever. Indeed, the father flies into an absolute rage, becomes extremely aggressive at the slightest suggestion that he could do things differently, or be less strict. They believe they are good parents and nothing is going to change. The father is also spreading lies and rumours about the grandmother who has criticised him. In doing so, it looks like he’s trying to cut his partners ties to her own relatives.
I'm looking for some advice and/or opinion please. In light of the police station incident, I rang the NSPCC to ask for their advice, and whether or not they thought it, and the other issues outlined above, abusive. They did, and have referred the case to the local SS, who have been in contact with said relative. I just want to know if people would have done what I did. I feel terribly guilty and dread the day when I see the person who I reported. I'm truly scared that if they (or other family members) find out what I did, they will disown me, but I do genuinely fear for these children's well-being, especially their current and future mental health.
I suppose my question is this; in your opinion do you think I did the right thing?
Apologies for the message being so long!
Sally
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Reported Relatives to Social Services - Was I Right To Do So?
25 replies
Sallylongfrock · 20/07/2014 05:37
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hesterton ·
20/07/2014 05:43
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