DD accused by other parent

(10 Posts)
poshme Thu 17-Jul-14 20:29:05

I've just had a text from another parent of a child in my DDs class. They're in yr 4.
Apparently my DD has been repeatedly punching her DD and another child in the playground. They told the teacher but nothing was done.

So apparently now I have to do something.

My DD also today 'ripped her DD's paper' deliberately. My DD says it was accidental, the teacher saw and it was all ok.

This is the first I have heard of any of this. DDs report was glowing and all about how caring, sensible and helpful she is, and such a good friend to everyone.

I don't quite know how to respond. Personally I think issues at school should be dealt with in school- ie if my DD had a problem I'd go and speak to class teacher and not text the parent.

This parent does believe everything thief child says, and can't ever believe that they might exaggerate, or stretch the truth.

I've chatted to DD- she insists there's been no punching, and tbh, I'd be surprised. She has 3 siblings, who can all be quite annoying, and she is the pacifist of the family! I've never known her to punch anyone, ever.

Any tips as to what to do next? I'm going to speak to teacher tomorrow if I can.

poshme Thu 17-Jul-14 20:29:59

Their child, not thief child!

Sparklingbrook Thu 17-Jul-14 20:31:05

Do not reply to the text. Definitely speak to the teacher.

I'd start with talking to the teacher too, if your DD had been punching anyone regularly and the staff knew surely you would know all about it?? It's not a minor thing!

I probably wouldn't reply to the parent until you have spoken to the teacher.

poshme Thu 17-Jul-14 20:44:14

Thanks. I had that moment when you wonder if there's a parallel universe to the one you know about.

I think other parent is insinuating bullying without actually saying it, and I'm sure she would have no qualms about saying that to other parents.
Sigh. Thank goodness it's almost the summer holidays!

I'll go in tomorrow and chat to teacher.

Sparklingbrook Thu 17-Jul-14 20:47:22

She shouldn't have texted you anyway.

Good luck with the teacher tomorrow. Is it the last day of term?

Goldmandra Thu 17-Jul-14 20:54:31

Don't engage with the other parent. The most you should say is that you are going to speak to the teacher, or have done so, and that she should do the same.

Ask the teacher to speak to the other parent and suggest that any concerns about events in school should be addressed to them, not you please.

Jinty64 Fri 18-Jul-14 12:58:49

Speak to the teacher and show her the txt. Tell her you have spoken to Dd and she tells you she has no idea about the punching but that both she and the teacher were aware of the accidental tearing of the paper. Leave the school to deal with it.

Don't respond to the other parent. If she approaches you tell her you have spoken to the teacher and she is dealing with it and that she must do the same.

Heyho111 Mon 21-Jul-14 07:11:29

Welcome to the wonderful world of interfering obsessed about their own child other parents.
Children especially girls enlarge on the truth and can be nasty. Parents take what their child has said and get an overwhelming desire to protect them. They then start doing stupid stuff.
I would text her back saying neither her nor you know exactly what went on. Except the school teacher does and she has acted according to the situation.
Now ignore it, have a cuppa and brace yourself for the next helicopter mum instant.
I had one particular mum who was like that. She was the mum of my dd friend. I watched her go potty and over react many a time. Her daughter is now at 18 incredibly emotionally spoilt and not the happiest person because of it.

poshme Mon 21-Jul-14 20:28:22

Thanks all. Teachers were great, and had no concerns- some end of year niggles amongst kids but nothing major. They weren't aware of any playground problems at all.
Other parent phoned the school and said DD is bullying their child. Sigh.

In some ways I'm glad it's the summer holidays, so it can cool off, but I fear the other parent is going to build it up.

I am now entering the world of playground politics however, as other parent has now deleted me on Facebook, as have 2 other people who are mutual friends. I guess not friends any more! It just makes me think- how old are we??!!

I think I will concentrate on having a good summer, and suspect DD will have to find a new friend once term starts.

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