Just had a bad bed time

(14 Posts)

So I completely just lost it.

Put DD to bed (2.1) and she was playing up as usual. Everything seems to be a battle at the moment and I shamefully admittedly lost it. I didn't smack her....didn't go that far, I shouted at her so loudly I think I mimicked a monster. In fact I would have been horrified if I heard someone else do the same. Now she's gone to sleep...

Que me feeling very guilty and not being able to wait until the morning to give her a big hug.

I'm not the only one that loses control am I?! That's how I feel, like I've lost control, which I suppose I did. I've had a really horrible long day at work, I'm struggling with the sickness in early pregnancy and all I wanted was to have something to eat...god I sound so selfish saying this, I know these aren't excuses.

Any reassurance or tough love out there?

Meloria Tue 17-Jun-14 20:49:17

This isn't going to impact on the rest of her life if it's a one off and I doubt she'll even remember in the morning.

Happydaze247 Tue 17-Jun-14 21:13:22

We had a really crappy bedtime last night. DD (19 months) had been miserable on and off all day and it all came to a head when I was trying to dry and dress her after her bath. She was crying and wriggling even more than normal and I was a little too rough with her. I would normal be really controlled and talk or sing to her to calm her but I'd just had enough of it. Worse still, I then had a rant about what a pita she was and what did I do so wrong to deserve such a nightmare child. It was awful. She was probably unwell and that's how I reacted sad

I spent most of last night on MN, looking up old threads on the topic. Partly to find some hints and tips on how I could deal with it all a bit better and partly to reassure myself that I am not the world's worst mum.

She's been an angel today, bless her. thanks

Jaffakake Tue 17-Jun-14 21:15:51

I agree with pp. Don't worry about it. If you still feel bad in the morning, apologise to her & explain why you were sad & give her a hug, the odds are she won't remember.

We all do it. We're all human. We all have good & bad days. I'm on hols at the moment & had a great day, but still lost patience with ds & shouted at him at bedtime!

plotmissinginaction Tue 17-Jun-14 21:17:52

In the midst if a crap bedtime now. 2.5 hours and counting. Have already snapped at her.

ThursdayLast Tue 17-Jun-14 21:18:09

You're only human. It's impossible to be serene, calm and reasonable ALL the time.
You can see what you did wrong and feel regret, a truly bad parent wouldn't recognise that.

Have a cuppa, try to relax and forget about it. Get something to eat! Of course it's not selfish to eat in early pregnancy!

MiaowTheCat Tue 17-Jun-14 21:23:57

DD1 is 2 years 2 months and has been a massive pain in the backside with bedtimes for the last month or so - playing up and waking her little sister up as well - I've been hiding in the loo in tears a fair few times with it of late and it's made me very ill with my mental health as well.

What I've found has reduced the stress levels a bit which has reduced it spiraling out of control (well not really out of control but to where the situation doesn't feel comfortably manageable for me) is to put the travel cot up in our room. Couple of nights of zero tolerance - you start mucking around you get one warning to stay in your bed quietly (she has books to read and teddies to talk to in there - this has been how things have been since very early on with her) and then she has to spend the night in the travel cot in our room which is very very boring listening to mummy and daddy snore and being ignored when trying to get up to mischief. Just knowing I had that quick and easy option there seems to have taken the pressure off a bit and things are (hopefully) reverting back to normal now and someone's remembered how we do bedtime in this house (ok so it still generally involves about 10 minutes of lying on your back, legs in the air singing garbled nursery rhymes while reading the Gruffalo but that's normal!)

I don't shout at all at the moment - purely because DD1 thinks it's hilarious if I do so it's utterly counterproductive - but I do have a good "I'm not joking on this one - don't push it any further" quiet and calm tone of voice from years teaching!

Steben Tue 17-Jun-14 21:27:31

I have most certainly been there OP please don't beat yourself up. I found either completely ignoring until dd calmed down (just lay on the end not engaging with her/tantrum) she then calmed down. She also got a good girl sticker for good behaviour as well - no charts just a small dot on her door.

Thanks everyone for your replies smile

I have since had some 'time out' and feel much better and trying to look forward to tomorrow. Going forward in the future I might introduce stickers for good behaviour at bed time - thank you for that idea steben

Lovelydiscusfish Tue 17-Jun-14 22:18:05

Have you got a partner who could support you with bed times? Tonight my dd(2.2 ) started having a bit of a tantrum when I said it was time to get dressed for bed, a and I didn't really know how to respond, but dh came in and asked her to apologise to me, and she did, just like that! I think it gave her a way of backing down somehow, and just helped diffuse the situation (although I know that won't help if you're on your own). Good luck!

clabsyqueen Thu 19-Jun-14 22:51:30

Gosh. Poor you. It can be tough to give so much of yourself. Making a baby and looking after one. All hard. It's a miracle we find it in ourselves to be civil I reckon. Glad toy had some time out.

Errrr2012 Fri 20-Jun-14 07:38:29

I could've written your exact post a few days ago. Felt so guilty for shouting at him. but it was a moment of temper which I'm praying he's forgotten. And being pregnant doesn't help. x

Errrr2012 Fri 20-Jun-14 07:38:42

I could've written your exact post a few days ago. Felt so guilty for shouting at him. but it was a moment of temper which I'm praying he's forgotten. And being pregnant doesn't help. x

Errrr2012 Fri 20-Jun-14 07:38:43

I could've written your exact post a few days ago. Felt so guilty for shouting at him. but it was a moment of temper which I'm praying he's forgotten. And being pregnant doesn't help. x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now