toddler been biting, scratching and hitting for over a year... When (will) this phase end, and what should we be doing different?

(4 Posts)
ruthietoothie Sat 14-Jun-14 21:08:12

I've got a 2 1/2 yo girl, who's been hitting, scratching and biting for over a year now. We've also got a 10mo boy, and he's the primary recipient of this though she also does it to me and my partner, and to other children at the childminder's where she goes.

It's been going on since May last year, so starting to worry that it's not just a phase but maybe something else! She communicates well, and is otherwise pretty content and sociable.

In terms of dealing with it to date, we've concentrated on making clear it is wrong 'No, we don't hit, that's not nice' etc, encouraging her to be gentle instead, removing from situation, and then giving lots of attention to whoever has been hurt.

Did go to the gp about it other week and he just recommended a sticker chart, but not sure if she's a bit young for that....

Anyone had any similar experiences / any advice? Feel like I'm really struggling with it now... A friend who's an educational psychologist did suggest trying to find a substitute activity for her - i.e something else to bite / scratch that isn't a person. Any suggestions, or thoughts?

Thank you!! x

storm4mozza Sun 15-Jun-14 07:19:18

My son has breen like this since he was 2 (he is now nearly 3 and a half) and its still happening. Your NOT alone.

'we use kind hands with others' i found helped when they are hurting people it is 'silly hands'

I have tried everything and the only thing which has calmed him is the naughty corner (each minute for their age so your daughter 2 minutes) and then ask them what they have done wrong, if they dont know try explain it to them. Nothing will be diagnosed at this age (been told this on behalf of my son) as things are hard to dianose until child years.

Reward charts I did find useful we found ours at the 99p store also B & M bargains we had a meal one, potty and behaviour and things have improved.

Hope this helps

Hurr1cane Sun 15-Jun-14 08:10:50

There are some good toddler books for this

"Hands are not for hitting"

"Teeth are not for biting"

Get her some chewlery for biting or teething rings without the water

Lots of attention for good gentle playing. None at all for bad behaviour. Just say "hands are not for hitting" then remove her to time out with a timer and no attention at all

Play with her with other children modelling how to play

Can you see any reason for her biting and hurting ? Any pattern to it?

ruthietoothie Sun 15-Jun-14 22:23:26

Thanks for the thoughts, and advice. So good to know I'm not alone! Sometimes a trigger is tiredness / boredom but at other times it just comes out of the blue.

Main thing is trying to be consistent... Haven't tried a formal time out as yet, though do ignore her as much as possible!

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