Extravert child in an introvert family.....

[elliott]

Ds2 (aged 2.9) is a bit of a cuckoo in our nest. Dh and I are both analytical sciencey bookish reflective types. Ds1 is similar - loves construction toys and has always played in a very focussed way by himself - so I've always felt 'in tune' with him and find it easy to choose toys for him, suggest activities etc.

Ds2 is a bit of a mystery to us. he thrives on interaction and will not play by himself at all (well, perhaps for a little while if one of us is close by). he won't do jigsaws or construction toys. he loves to play games. endlessly.

Any ideas about what sorts of toys or activities would be good for him, and not too demanding/exhausting for us to have to participate in? Should I work more on developing his social life? What kind of birthday and christmas presents would be worth trying? (he doesn't really play with things much at all....)

Its so strange being a parent of a child whose brain clearly works in such a fundamentally different manner....

[motherinferior]

Has he got a teaset? They're fabulous for enabling imaginative play and ahem getting out of your hair. My two play endlessly with theirs.

[elliott]

Yes he has. Occasionally he and ds1 have been known to set up tea parties. Problem really is that I will have to play with him, I think...
Its a shame that he and ds1 still find it difficult to play together - ds1 finds it very difficult to accommodate other people into his 'projects' and ds2 ends up doing kamikazee destruction on them just to get a reaction....it would have been easier if they had been the other way round I think.

[lazycow]

Does he like more social imaginative play? - For instance a tea set, cooker etc, cleaning stuff. My ds loves these sorts of toys as it gives him a chance to play with us by cleaning with us, havinf pretend tea or to pretend to play with his stuffed toys and pretend to feed then etc.

Ds (22 months old) doesn't like jigsaws either. I was worried he couldn't do them as he would just put the pieces in any old way. Then I saw him playing in a Wendy house and he carefully fitted 4 plasic muffins in their cases and carried them to me. When he sees the point he can fit things together, jigsaws are just not his thing at the moment.

[elliott]

What he really likes is to be with us. i can only leave the room if I let him come along and 'help'. I think the solution may be in finding him some playmates (how??)

[motherinferior]

Dressing up?

[elliott]

Yes he quite likes dressing up. Its hard to find imaginative costumes for boys though (he loves the pink dresses at nursery!) - I was thinking of trying to track down a wizard costume for his birthday.
MI what do your girls do? Particularly if they can't play with each other?

[madmarchhare]

My ds is very much like this. He loves being outside.

[lazycow]

Do you know any mothers with similar aged children? Could you invite them over sometimes and see if that helps and makes him happier to play without you.

[blueshoes]

elliott, I know what you mean. Dd is a real social animal. As a baby, she did not play with toys at all. At 2.11, is only starting to play by herself, but mostly imaginative games involving socialising eg pretending to care for babies. Even now, I can't rely on that - she more often than not drags me off to join her in those games, eg to get baby a blanket.

She likes to play catch, wants me to read books to her, chat about what's on telly, or just stuck to me like a limpet, telling me how much she misses me (I work pt). Absolutely adores it if other children come around.

If I had to spend a day alone with her, I would make sure I take her out at least once. Better still, have other children around. Toys don't really engage her for more than 10 minutes, so that's not very useful. Pity your ds1 is not a compatible playmate. I am hoping No.2 (due to arrive soon) will be dd's playmate at some point.

[elliott]

thanks all. We do go out a lot...think I will just have to try and find some friends for him!