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At our wits end(11 Posts)
Our 16 year old son is frightening us.
I work away from home and have had to call the police on him as he was hitting his mother and they gave him a chat.
He has only been to school for 3 months this year and we can't make him go. We are expecting a prosecution from the county council re this but he won't get out of bed and swears at us and is violent. He is also bigger then us so forcing him is impossible.
He is sending abusive messages to school mates and the school has intervened with these.
He has held a carving knife to my neck.
He has stabbed all of the doors in the house so you can see through them. You can put your head through some of the holes. He has kicked holes in walls. He breaks things deliberately . A dining room chair, a new laptop, headphones.
He tries to torture the dog.
He has started urinating without using the toilet, at first it was outside against the wall, now it is inside.
Child mental health keep cancelling the appointments they have made over the last six months and our doctor refuses to help as he has been referred to CAMS. CAMS just say call the police of we are in danger. Mental health charities and advice lines refer us back to CAMS
I want to call the police on him when he is violent but my wife won't let me saying it will ruin our life.
This morning we were woken up to more banging around the house and found more damage including a broken kettle.
When we ask what is going on he just lashes out and calls us C words.
Help and advice pleaded!
Sorry. Should be ruin his life, not our life!
If he is being violent I do think the police are the best option. It does sound as though he may need some help.
Do you have any other children?
I bet you find it very frightening leaving him with his mother.
I recently lost a relative who was involved with a boy who sounds similarly troubled to your own son, a couple of years ago he chased his mother with an axe. She did not take things further with the police and getting her son the help he needed. This boy is now dead, he also murdered at least one if not two other people.
I am not trying to scare you. I just think you really need to seek help immediately and if I were you I would not rest until I had got him help even if it means having him removed from the family home.
You need to put him out. Call the police and press charges. Call SS and tell them he's homeless. He needs help immediately.
You need to call 999 and tell them you need police and an ambulance and you also need to tell them that he is likely to harm others and himself; (this may be untrue but it is the only way they will come out!). They may the take him to a&e and you will need to push to get him sectioned.
I had to call 999 on a family member as it was the only way the mental health team would see them - the week before he had been discharged from the mental health care as he refused to see a doctor which was bloody ridiculous.
Have you got the number for a crisis team?
Wife won't let me as he has exams this week and surprisingly he goes in for those.
I called SS last bank holiday after he attacked me asking for them to take him away but they refused!
We think they actually want him to be arrested first!
Wife loves him and that is this that stops us from involving the police again!
May I ask that yourself and your wife look up the story of Brandon Goode
I am sure his parents loved him too, and apparently he did good at school
If you love him you will have to call the police to get him sectioned. It does sound like he has mental health problems which can be helped with the right medication.
Does he drink or do any drugs? Has this made the problem worse.
We did worry about drugs because his eyes look weird sometimes but he never goes out so he can't get any.
He doesn't like fizzy drinks so I don't think he drinks.
Op I really think you need to speak to the police
I think you need to have a chat with as / gp/ police to find out what the path is. I'm no expert on these situations, but I know with crime you have to report, report, report to the police so it gets flagged up as an issue within the data they record. Unless you report there is no evidence / audit trail of occurrences of the problem and they (police/council) are much less likely to act. I suspect if your sons name starts popping up on their logs regularly they'll want to act. Ask them, they'll most likely tell you how the system works. Then play it so you get your son the help he needs. You need to do something before your wife gets really hurt. Exam results are worth nothing if he's going to be disfunctional and unable to get / keep a job in his current state.
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