How to help a (nearly) 4 yr old build up self-esteem

(5 Posts)
Halfpint76 Tue 03-Jun-14 12:17:07

Hi, I am wondering if it is now a good time to get my DS1 into some more out of nursery activities to help him become a little more confident.

He's going through a bit of a difficult stage at nursery at the moment. His main little group of friends (him and 2 other boys) seem to be having more and more power struggles and he seems to be the one that is most often excluded or picked on. He often says things like "X is better than me at this or that", or how he's not been allowed to join in with some of the games etc. He's also said he is scared of one other boy in his class. It is heartbreaking to hear my little boy be upset by these squabbles and worries, and while I know it is all part of growing up and helping him to learn to assert himself and deal with conflict I want to help him as much as I can.

We use lots of positive praise at home and try talking to him about these 2 boys - I often wonder if I actually over talk it and make it more of an issue than it is actually sometimes!

I would just like to help build up his self esteem and confidence and thought some extra curricular activities might help. What have you found worked? What else can I do? Any advice please!

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 03-Jun-14 15:16:39

Haven't got any advice really. It is interesting that he puts himself down and I wonder if an adult in his life puts themself down?

I wouldn't be happy if my child was being excluded by the other children at nursery. Have you spoken to his key worker and have they said what they are going to do to try to rectify the situation?

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 03-Jun-14 16:02:05

Just found this and thought you might like it smile

Halfpint76 Tue 03-Jun-14 20:01:04

Thank you! I found that site today too actually and it made for interested reading. I don't think he has heard an adult talk negatively about themselves. He used to be the opposite until quite recently and thought he was the best at everything!! Maybe it's just a development stage that's not helped by one of these boys in particular excluding him whenever he wants to. He seems to be able to play with other kids in the class, and I've tried to encourage him to do that but he unfortunately hero worships these specific 2 boys and just wants to play with them.

I've spoken to the staff and they say that it's just part of the boys learning boundaries so they don't step into the squabbles unless there is anything physical. It's just hard to see my little boy being the 'third wheel' sometimes and keep going back for more disappointment.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 03-Jun-14 21:38:52

Seems a bit harsh of the staff. Could they not do a bit if group work about being kind or do some diversions?

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