mother unable to cuddle baby first 6 months

(6 Posts)
jagman Mon 02-Jun-14 10:42:16

Advice please. My ex-wife told me that she could not pickup or cuddle her first baby - a girl who very early on showed signs of what we now know is schizophrenia. She turned out to be a very unhappy fully-diagnosed schizophrenic. Early onset of schizophrenia is not unknown and I have heard that the first 6 months are crucial to development and not being held/cuddled/loved could have prompted the mental disease. The mother turned out to be a clinical paranoid. In those years all was blamed on bad parenting - and I was chosen to take all the blame. Would like to hear of any and all similar experiences, if any, as my life has been dogged by this.

onetiredmummy Mon 02-Jun-14 15:27:25

Bump

That sounds horrendous!

eightyearsonhere Mon 02-Jun-14 15:36:18

So you don't think it was fair that your bad parenting was blamed.
And now you are trying to construct a theory to blame the mother instead?
Nice one.

DeWee Mon 02-Jun-14 15:52:08

I find it somewhat unbelievable that the first time you were unaware that your ex-wife "could not pick up or cuddle the baby" in the first 6 months is when she told you. Are you really that unobservant of both your ex-wife and baby?

You need to be looking forward for how to help now, not backwards to blame.

NatashaBee Mon 02-Jun-14 15:57:01

'Her first baby' - was it a child you had together? or one from a prior relationship?

rootypig Mon 02-Jun-14 15:58:23

I think you would be better off in the company of clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, jagman, than on MN. You are describing very severe MH issues and are inviting diagnosis, rather than support.

Looking for vindication on an online message board at the expense of your ex wife, who was suffering MH issues at the time, doesn't speak well of your sense of emotional judgment or priorities.

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