I think things have changed a lot. We are understanding children better and learning better ways to discipline.
If your aim is to dominate your children, then yes you probably will have to physically hurt them at some point to force them to submit. But I don't think that today's parents do want to dominate their children. We've learned that it's not necessary - over-reliance on very authoritative methods can be damaging and they aren't always (usually, IMO) the best way to teach something.
If you're relying very heavily on fear of punishment then the child doesn't really learn anything other than how to avoid punishment, how to appease others, how to fit in, how to not be noticed. It's better instead of focusing on how to get them to obey unquestioningly, to think about what it is you actually want them to learn (that it's nice to be kind and gentle, that looking after your toys and things keeps them in good condition, etc etc) and then encourage that in various ways, by modelling it, by encouraging it with praise, by helping them to learn how to do it, by helping them understand the reasons behind it and by having safe and secure boundaries which don't move and are enforced by just literally preventing them doing whatever it is with the least amount of physical force/coercion possible, in the most kind and gentle way you can. As they get older it's a balance of rights and responsibilities and letting them have freedom but pulling it back when they can't handle it.
It's totally possible, I rarely ever have to punish DS, and when we do it's simple removal of privileges, nothing scary, nothing he can't handle, and only for repeated things he knows isn't allowed/issues I can't physically prevent.