Discipline Methods?

(10 Posts)
Sophietime Wed 30-Apr-14 23:20:47

My 2yr old is starting to hit, punch and kick her brother (6 yrs) I have tried everything, from timeout and reward charts and taking toys to sending her to her room (YES at age 2!) she can't properly talk yet but can say simple words, Timeout seemed to work but then she would always run away and hide and it would end up with me giving up after LITERALLY 5 hours or me not able to find her! What do I do?

wheresthelight Wed 30-Apr-14 23:43:35

Sorry but where the hell do you live that a 2 year old can hide and nit be found for 5 hours ffs???

Sophietime Wed 30-Apr-14 23:56:54

No... I do find her in less than 5 hours, She hides under tables, in her wardrobe etc, It is a safe house, trust me! The longest she has probably been hiding is around 10mins because she comes out, she can hardly walk too!

wheresthelight Thu 01-May-14 00:01:39

Sorry your post sounded like she was missing for 5 hours!

She's still very very young and won't fully understand ime, she is still exploring her world. She is too young for. Time out esp if you're having to hunt her out. Reinforcement of "no" and "it's not nice" etc for the moment is probably best

My godson was a sod for biting and I believe my friend was recommended to bite him back (not hard obviously) and discuss how it made him feel if that makes sense. But not sure unwound recommend it tbh

ExBrightonBell Thu 01-May-14 00:41:58

Fgs, don't bite, hit, punch or kick your child and then discuss how that made her feel - obviously. Clearly not appropriate.

However, I do agree with the PP that timeout, removing toys, sending to her room etc are not going to be effective at her age (am assuming she's just turned 2?). Just repetition of "no, we don't hit" etc and then remove her from the situation. Give her brother a lot of attention and reassurance as well.

Try and work out the triggers for the bad behaviour and see if you can change things around so that it can be avoided. Is she tired or hungry when it happens? Is it to do with particular toys?

Also try and give her lots of positive attention when she is behaving well. Praise her for behaving well with her brother, and tell her what a kind, gentle etc girl she is when she is being good.

wheresthelight Thu 01-May-14 01:00:39

I didn't say she should. Unsaid a friend was recommended it if your read my post

Chocolatestain Thu 01-May-14 06:34:08

I agree. At this age time outs will just leave her feeling confused and isolated which is likely to exacerbate bad behaviour. And she's too little to 'reason' with about why she's doing it. Toddlers are often completely overwhelmed by feelings that are too intense for them to handle and have no idea why they do stuff.

I agree with ExBrightonBelle's suggestions - try and identify triggers and intervene with 'we don't hit' or similar phrase. I would also then engage her immediately in another activity. Is she angry or frustrated when she hits? If so you could show her an acceptable way to vent her frustration such as hitting a cushion. I do this with DS. He finds it funny which changes his mood completely.

And remember the eternal phrase of sanity when dealing with toddlers 'it's just a phase'!

ExBrightonBell Thu 01-May-14 08:33:00

Well it didn't read like that to me, wheresthelight. It read like you were putting it out there as something to consider, even if you weren't entirely convinced yourself. Otherwise why mention it?

PolterGoose Thu 01-May-14 13:28:46

Have you seen anyone about her speech delay? And walking delay too?

At that age use distraction and try to get in a habit of using positive language, say the behaviour you want not what you don't want. If she's delayed then when you say 'don't hit' she may focus on 'hit' or she may not understand complex instructions. Stick to phrases like 'gentle hands' and make sure your ds has space to play away from her as well as encouraging nice play together, don't just leave them in a room to entertain themselves, you need to be pro-active, guiding and modelling for her to learn. Instant rewards can be better than charts.

ineedsomeinspiration Thu 01-May-14 20:34:04

What's her level of understanding like. My 2 yo understanding of language came before his speech caught up. We say to him don't hit it hurts. I try to give him a reason as to why he's not allowed to do things rather than just no. Such as don't go near the cooker it's hot.
No idea if it's the "right" thing to do but it seems to be working ok.

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