Struggling with determined eight year old

(2 Posts)
Ruth2410 Mon 21-Apr-14 22:09:07

My 8YO daughter has many talents, but - like myself and my husband - singing really isn't one of them. Despite this, however, she is determined that she is going to be a singer, and has started a 'singing group' at school. This group seems to involve her telling a group of girls what to do, and them joining in for a bit and then ignoring her. She invited them all round about a year ago, and was devastated when they didn't join in. She is now planning a 'meeting' of the group at our house again, and has drafted an agenda, is choreographing a dance routine and is allocating parts in songs to different members. She has also told me that the singing group will be performing at her next birthday party, and is badgering me to help her organise a concert at my school next year (I am a headteacher). I love her drive and enthusiasm, and haven't wanted to dampen this, but the singing club business has now been going on for over a year and I am terrified that it is losing her friends and will end up with her being humiliated. I have enrolled her in Stagecoach so she has an outlet for her drive to perform, as well as singing lessons, but she has been doing that for a term now and shows no signs of abandoning the singing club. I desperately want to avoid her being hurt or disappointed. Has anyone got any suggestions?

andsmile Tue 22-Apr-14 01:09:28

oh these bloomin 'clubs' are bothersome. My DS (8) is in a club and is quite upset that no one wants to be inhis 'new' club. I pointed out that it is because everyone else is already in the orginal club and maybe they dont have time for his. He didnt think this is fair, I said maybe but his friend thought of his club first so everyone sticks with that.

My point is I think to learn a little bit about what it means to be disappointed isnt such a bad thing. Can you have a talk along the lines of 'can you remember when 'X' didnt want to join in', why do you think this....to bring her round to the idea that while it is a great idea, it is not everyones passion. I tend to be quite direct and tell DS no one likes a bossy boots and talk about why...

Steer her drive and enthusiasm to praciting her stagecoach skills as she will need to practice to audition for a part at some point. Could she write her own routine on a storyboard and then use her dolls to produce a stop animation - you can get these apps on tablets. Then she gets to be director, producer etc - effectively 'sell' this to her..she could put it on you You Tube account?

So distract her with other stuff to move swiftly on from any hurt but I dont think this is such a bad thing to realise that not everyone think the same thats why we have so many different xyz.

Anyway HTH

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