Anyone co sleep with baby and toddler?

(15 Posts)
notadoctor Sat 19-Apr-14 09:18:02

My DD is 2.5yo and has never slept great. It got worse around 18months and we tackled it by co-sleeping. It was the only way to get us all through the night. She now has a double bed in her room. She goes to bed on her own and sleeps well until around 1am but I usually end up joining her then.

The problem is I now have an EBF 3week old too! I have been having him in his crib next to us as I was nervous of co sleeping with such a young baby especially with a toddler in the bed too. But he hates being put down.

Is there anyway to safely sleep with them both in the bed?

Artandco Sat 19-Apr-14 09:28:52

We have both our children in our room as only 1 bedroom. Both usually sleep in cot beds with sides off now as 3 and 4 years. When smaller with both we had the cot beds right up to the side of our bed and side off and eldest slept in there and youngest next to me on in cot bed also next to me.

So basically when cot bed one side with ds1 in, dh next to him, then me, then cotbed the other side with ds2 in the cot or next to me.

Now we have both cot beds on one side against wall with a metre gap between them and our bed so they can be slightly seperate now get in and out easier.

They have always been happy to sleep and never screamed when woken and I believe this is largely due to the fact we share. Now bigger at 3 and 4 they sleep in the middle of our bed between dh and myself on the odd time we share ie when sick/ nightmare etc

Artandco Sat 19-Apr-14 09:31:31

My co sleeping ds will be 2 when new baby comes along and we will have him in between us and baby on the other side of me with a cot pushed against that side so I can shuffle baby over when asleep if he lets me (ds never let me do this!)

oopsadaisyme Sat 19-Apr-14 19:22:54

Never did, and my boys always good in their own beds, but my OH left a few months ago and now wake to find both my boys in my bed - got a big bed and telly, so not complaining - nice x

Iworrymyselftosleep Sat 19-Apr-14 19:27:00

Watching with interest. Pg. co sleep with 3yo in double bed n wondering about sleep solutions for when lo comes along.

ikeaismylocal Sat 19-Apr-14 19:48:21

Our paln is to do what artandco did, 16 month old ds already sleeps in a cot-bed attatched to our bed, dp now sleeps next to him (so I can easily get out of the bed to use the toilet multiple times a night.

We will put another bed on my side of the bed when our #2 comes along in October and the the baby will sleep next to me.

claraschu Sat 19-Apr-14 20:00:56

We had a super king size mattress on the floor, and often ended up with 2 children in bed with us. I also put a firm small mat next to the big bed on my side, to slide a sleeping toddler on to occasionally.

We co-slept with all of ours from day 1, and the toddler visits were occasional (sometimes frequent) rather than inevitable. It really worked well for us, and I still sometimes sleep with our 12 year old daughter when my husband is away.

I never worried about safety because I felt like I needed the baby with me to feel safe, and the medical evidence is extremely inconclusive and confusing. I also had a friend who always co-slept with her baby. The baby fell asleep for the first time in her own room at about 5 months, and that night she died of SIDS. I guess that might have made me cling more to my babies at night time. Sorry for the horrible story.

oopsadaisyme Sat 19-Apr-14 21:53:03

I don't think I could of slept with my baby in bed, but I roll in my sleep so just couldn't I think -

My two alot older now, so all in my bed, early morning cartoons means snuggling in longer and lazy days lol x

Sparklyboots Sat 19-Apr-14 23:01:14

Yes, mine are 3.4y and 11mo, we coslept from the start.

We have a king sized double plus a single mattress on the floor. Toddler is between DP and I, with the baby on the outside. It's lovely smile I'm in between them as they snooze right now.

In the early days, I just kept the baby on me all the time, so she and I would put the toddler to bed and then she and I would get up until my bedtime. Once she was mobile, and needed an earlier bedtime I'd leave a cushion between her and DS so he didn't roll onto her while she slept. Now she's a bouncing buddha I don't do that.

DS went from being a rubbish sleeper (frequent wakes, easily disturbed, early riser) to being a champion during her first six months if I had known that I'd have had her sooner. He could sleep through anything now, and no longer needs resettling if he does wake.up. We usually sleep about 8.30 til about 8.30. Our toddler doesn't resist going to bed and will in fact take himself to bed if he's tired. Win win win as far as I can tell.

We have sex when everyone's asleep, not usually in bed, before some Daily Mail type starts worrying about the state of our relationship...

notadoctor Sun 20-Apr-14 00:10:39

Thanks for all the advice and reassurance. Going to lookst taking the side off our crib...

sparklyboots you have just restored my hope that ds will sleep when baby turns up!! He too is a frequent waker/easily disturbed and I am worrying about how its going to work!

Sparklyboots Sun 20-Apr-14 11:12:19

Well, it wasn't wholly straight forward! Is your DS still bf, MoreSnowPlease? Because limiting that overnight, in negotiation with him was the key for us.

Yes he only bf overnight now, completely associated with sleep it's the only way I can get him to stop climbing the walls and go to sleep so reluctant to stop it tbh!

Sparklyboots Tue 22-Apr-14 22:43:17

Well, we still bf at sleepy time but for night wakings did a thing of limiting how long he could feed for, cutting it down from five minutes to 'just a tiny bit' which evidently became not worth waking for. We had to agree in the daytime that night time is for sleeping, which I reiterated when he woke up. He wasn't that happy about it but was okay when he realised that he could ask for it any time, and have it any time, though we would be going back to sleep asap. It was a bit tough for him because he loved it and it became impossible during pg and has never been the same since. If I had the time over I'd have run that strategy before rather after when the baby was born!

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