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Is my 15 month old 'lazy'?(10 Posts)
At his 12 month check, the HV expressed concerns that DS2 was not weight bearing and not getting into a crawling position. She referred us to physio.
I was not surprised, as DS1 is hypermobile and was delayed with all his gross motor skills.
The physio came out to see us yesterday and said that although DS2 is hypermobile and low tone, he is, essentially, just lazy. She said we should sit him away from all his toys and let him cry and that he'd soon learn to move. She said I had let him spend too long in door bouncers and baby walkers (we don't have a baby walker and DS spends about three minutes per day in the bouncer).
I obviously encourage him to move wherever possible, but also pass him toys when he is playing and asks for them and they are far our of reach. She said he had got used to me passing things to him and was now in the pattern of not moving.
So can a 15 month old be lazy? Or was she just being rude/unprofessional?
So as not to drip feed, DS2 CANNOT:
Pull to standing
Kneel on all fours without collapsing
Shuffle around in circles
Shuffle forwards, but not very far (only started doing this in the past week)
Stand holding onto a table or sofa.
Oh, she also said that he doesn't stand properly and needs supportive boots, which she has ordered for us.
I have heard the term lazy banded around when it comes to babies, and it's basically a way of saying that they are comfortable in their current situation and have no reason to change.
My son was walking before a year, but he babbles and says no real discernible words. He is 16 months and should be saying 15 words apparently! I have a feeling his focus was on walking and 'doing' and not talking. Perhaps your son has been concentrating his efforts elsewhere too?
I can see what the HV is saying about not helping him too much and making him move for his toys. However this is complicated by a medical condition so it doesn't sound like she us being very supportive.
Your son sounds very similar to my DS2. He is very hypermobile and has low muscle tone, he wasn't crawling or weight bearing at all at 15 months. He crawled at 18 months and cruised at 2. He's now 2.5 and not walking yet, but is pulling to stand, climbing and cruising well and getting there (hopefully!) with the walking. My son also got labelled as lazy (by the GP) before he had the hypermobility and hypotonia diagnosis, and before he started physio.
I'd say your son's physio is being quite unprofessional by calling him lazy - she needs to be focusing on giving him exercises to do to build up his muscle tone and teach him how to crawl / stand / cruise rather than just expecting him to get it himself by putting his toys out of reach.
I passed toys to my ds all the time and he's completely opposite to your ds and doesn't bloody stop moving so I don't think it's your fault at all. That's just how your ds is and I'm sure he won't be like that forever.
IMO that is rude and unprofessional.
Maybe what she's trying to say is that his hypermobility makes it harder for him to move than other babies so he isn't very motivated to do it.
Saying a baby is lazy implies that others are more disciplined and move because they know it's good for them which is ridiculous.
What you need to do is help your DS feel motivated to move. Don't do it by making him cry. That's cruel and unnecessary. Just find exciting things that he really wants and encourage him to move a little more than he would normally choose to. Make it achievable and fun for him, not stressful otherwise he'll just give up.
Could you ask for a different physio?
Calling him lazy and criticising you, is an attempt to place blame, which is incredibly rude and unhelpful.
Your little one needs a bit more help by the sounds of it, so encouraging him to move for things is good idea, but not by upsetting him, he needs positive encouragement and ideas that will help build the strength and co-ordination that he needs.
I did think it was a bit off to call him lazy, but I guess I am sensitive about it because it's what friends/relatives have always said about my two boys (both hypermobile) because they were/are late movers. It felt like the last straw to hear it from a professional!
I do encourage him to move and he has recently started to bum shuffle a bit, so the will is definitely there.
The physio made me feel simultaneous neglectful and totally PFB. She is coming back to fit DS2's special boots. If she makes any unhelpful comments then I'll request to see one of her colleagues in future.
Very unprofessional IMO. My 17 month old is waiting for a physio referral at the moment and am sick of people referring to her as lazy. For goodness sake its not that she cant be bothered, she physically CANNOT do it
I have learnt to forgive friends and family as I am sure they are just trying (unsuccessfully) to make me feel better but you would think a professional would know better.
I hope your DS gets the help he needs and is up on his feet soon
Lazy is the wrong word.
Some kids are born active but some are placid content to sit playing with toys or watching tv. We are all different.
An active child unable to move would be trying and getting frustrated maybe crying. My DD has always been active from 4m or so she got about lying on her back moving her legs to cross the room (always wanting whats out of reach)
As with all things with kids there is a range.
I would just ignore it but have a go doing as they said letting them try to move for what they want.
A friends baby was not crawling (i think had been given toys to play with 1 day i knelt down crawling and there was a toy out of reach. I encouraged him and he did start army crawling for the first time (10m old).
Motivation can be a big factor my DD cruised for 5m before walking nervous etc finally encouraged her with raisins.
The difficulty is in determining personality from disability.
In a way its good if they think its laziness -better that than a disability.
Hopefully the boots will sort them out.
Are the parents usually very flexible too?
Im just wondering as DSis walked at 9m but we are really inflexible so wondering if it works the same in reverse. Some early walkers have inflexible joints giving more stability.
I think shoes and being outside in the park etc can really give them a push (as crawling on gravel is uncomfortable and the shoes get ankles in position. I know not recommended until walking but DD walked a week after getting first shoes.
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