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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

I just want to kill him today

784 replies

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 07:45

I am so annoyed with my son, he is 3.8 and has shown absolutely no sign of 'wanting to potty train' which EVERYBODY told me would 'happen naturally' when he turned three.

He is now sat on the potty, he has been there for around an hour and it looks like he will be there for an hour more. Every time he stands up he cries because he is busting for the loo and I sit him back down again but he refuses REFUSES to wee on the potty.

I need to potty train him before school it is getting RIDICULOUS and when I talk to him now he is putting on this 'baby' voice and sticking his tongue out around his teeth so he can't talk properly and I am SO ANGRY with him.

Why WHY won't he just use the potty? All his friends at nursery use the potty, he knows what to do because we have been going through this ridiculous process day after day trying to get him to bloody urinate out of a nappy.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

OP posts:

Report

Gremlingirl · 28/03/2014 07:47

Like with most things involving small boys, if it turns into a battle of wills, they will win because they are just so immovable when they make up their minds they are (or are not!) going to do something.
What about taking him outside and letting him wee up against a tree or something? Just to take the pressure off? He's already proved he can hold it in until he decides to go, which is the main part of potty training

Only1scoop · 28/03/2014 07:48

Have you just tried him on normal toilet seat or with a seat insert on top?

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 07:52

having him on a normal toilet would involve a lot of hassle right now, they also can't cater for that as well at nursery they have suggested we start with a potty. I don't know what else to do. We've tried the 'gentle approach' sitting him there and giving him nice things and waiting for him to learn. The thing is, my friends who were more forceful with their kids are all sporting 3 year olds who actually PISS IN THE RIGHT PLACE RATHER THAN DEMANDING AND OVERSIZED FUCKING NAPPY TO PISS AND SHIT IN

so great, I am thinking our 'wait for them to be ready approach' was BULLSHIT and I should just potty train them with the force and fear that my friends used.

OP posts:

poubella · 28/03/2014 07:56

I am sure that by the time he does his gcse's he will not be using a nappy.

As hard as it is calm down. He is a toddler they are difficult.

My dd would not eat solid food until she was over a year and I kept picturing her 18th birthday and was sure she would not be only having milk to calm me down.

Can he wee standing up ? Neither of mine use the potty just went straight to the toilet. Could you raise the potty up and get him to wee into it standing up ? I think the position of sitting on a potty is unnatural for some to wee and poo in.

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 07:57

I've put him on the potty outside of the family room and told him he will not be coming to join us until he has urinated. He can fucking stay there all day for all I care I am absolutely at the end of my tether with it all.

OP posts:

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 28/03/2014 07:59

Seriously as frustrating as it is you ended to chill out a bit about it. He WILL get there. I really don't understand why using a toilet rather than a potty is a hassle though?

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 08:00

IT JUST FUCKING IS A HASSLE OKAY WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY LIFE/MY NURSERY TO YOU????

OP posts:

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 28/03/2014 08:01

Well aren't you a delight kind of hope your ds shits all over the floor in front of you now meh

picnicbasketcase · 28/03/2014 08:01

My dd really wasn't keen to use a potty but got on a lot better with a toilet training seat and a plastic step for her to climb up.

picnicbasketcase · 28/03/2014 08:03

Okay, never mind, I don't want to encourage you to shout anymore than you have already

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 08:04

I have been told by the nursery to start him on a potty so that is what I have done. I think all this 'pandering' to what he 'might' want has got me precisely nowhere actually. Three times a day he can leave the room and sit on the fucking potty until he pisses on it. Thats it.

OP posts:

Sid77 · 28/03/2014 08:04

Take him outside to water the trees. If you can, wait till the weather is warmer (or hot) and get him naked. Then just encourage him to wee on the garden. Little boy wee doesn't seem to kill grass this is how mine learnt. He was absolutely not going to use the potty or loo, loved weeing on the fence in the garden. He was trained last summer, but has only just done a poo on the the loo this weekend. Before that he would only poo in a nappy. As pp said, it had to be his idea and for the poo, we just had to wait it out. Literally. Good luck, try not to stress - I know that is SO easier said than done.

NotMessitsOrganisedChaos · 28/03/2014 08:05

Keep going OP it is so difficult with little boys, some can be horrifically stubborn. If he was a year younger I would have said leave it, but 3.8 is old enough to understand potty training, unless of course he has sn. Stickers?? Chocolate buttons? Smarties? Bribery? Perhaps take the nappy off him and put it inside so the potty, so he has to still sit on the potty, but there is a nappy inside it?

ASmidgeofMidge · 28/03/2014 08:05

I think that whilst the potty training makes you this angry, it will unfortunately have become a battle of wills/a game/ a way of seeking attention for your dc. My suggestion would be to drop the potty training altogether, and do your best to demonstrate it doesn't much matter to you either way. As pp said, take the pressure off.

hashtagwhatever · 28/03/2014 08:05

I see this thread going badly.

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 08:07

I've taken taken the fucking pressure off! For years! While every other fucking parent around me has potty trained their kids and are happy I have said 'no, i've asked him and he's not ready' or 'I'm sure he will do it when he wants to/can' its got me (and him) fucking NO WHERE he is the last in his class to potty train. He is due to go to school this year and he will be the kid who stinks of piss because he can't fucking use a toliet. I have failed him as a mother.

OP posts:

theresnomewithoutyou · 28/03/2014 08:07

First of all, for you. Secondly, it seems to have turned into a battle. One you are losing. I think its strange nursery can't have him peeing standing up. Sounds like they want an easy ride at your expense. Put a ping pong ball in the loo. Get him to aim and fire. Another male would be helpful here. Or a water pistol. My eldest wouldn't use the potty. He is a father now. I am loving the karma. Also remembering the frustration I felt. Its horrible. too.

ASmidgeofMidge · 28/03/2014 08:07

My dd was happy using both a potty and a training seat for the loo, depending on the setting/circumstances

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 08:08

He can seek attention all he wants in the hallway on his own.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 28/03/2014 08:08

You need to chill out. Seriously. I'm sorry but behaving like this to your son is not getting you anywhere.

You need to try him on the toilet. Some children will not go on a potty. My dd being one of them.

Don't make an issue out of it. Just keep suggesting he goes. Don't make him sit on it for hours. Why punish him over a fucking wee?!

ghostinthecanvas · 28/03/2014 08:09

Lots of cross posts sorry.

OneStepCloser · 28/03/2014 08:10

Seriously stop stressing, ds wouldn't use a potty and got it a week before his 4th birthday on the toilet with a seat, i know its worrying but he will do it, nursery should be supporting you, not stressing you over it. Also, never listen to friends, rarely is it the way they say. Fear is not a great way of getting them to do anything. I tried bribes before, it was useless!

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MeanwhileHighAboveTheField · 28/03/2014 08:10

He is your child not the nursery's, so if you try the toilet and it works then you can tell nursery that he uses the toilet because it is easier for you.

FuckyNell · 28/03/2014 08:10

Ha ha ha calm down love!!! It's just another thing sent to test you.

He'll get it eventually. It's not good to force though. Bribery might work though

Twunk · 28/03/2014 08:11

You have my sympathy op - DS was a similar age.

I honestly think I've blocked it out now (I was also stressed to the max) but one day it did just click. I hate to say it, but he really hated the potty and refused to go on it, so regardless of all the logistics you may just have to let him use the loo.

By the time he was actually 4 he was definitely reliable on the toilet.

Flip

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