extreme shyness or selective mutism?

(3 Posts)
bamboobutton Wed 26-Mar-14 14:12:49

is nearly 4 and her shyness seems to be getting worse.

She started nursery in september, in December the nursery teacher asked us in for a meeting about her and told us that dd doesn't utter a word to anyone, not even other kids. This was a bit surprising as she seems happy enough about nursery at home, she tells us about who she plays with, sings songs she has learnt there etc and looks forward to going.

I had noticed that when a stranger stops to talk to us she will go a still as a statue, stares at the ground and almost seems to go into a trance. I had put this down to normal shyness until the nursery meeting.
Since then though she is becoming extra shy around extended family. She has seen granny on a weekly basis since birth but have noticed in the last month or so that she goes into a trance even with her granny now.
My dsis came over today and dd just disappeared, I found her hiding under blanket in bed, I got her down stairs and put a dvd on but she didn't want auntie to come in the same room.
I chatted to my sister about it and we decided to see, seeing as dd had been hiding for about an hour by now, what dd would do if I bought her into the kitchen and auntie gave a brief hello and then benignly ignored her. Well, dd clung to me like a limpet and ran out as soon as I put her down. Dd has also seen my dsis on a regular basis.

I have googled extreme shyness and found something called selective mutism and she has some of the symptoms.
I'm not sure what, if anything, to do about it.
at home with just us she is normal, never shuts up yakking, laughs and bickers with her brother, but outside home she clams up if someone even talks to me or dh.

It feels a bit OTT taking her to the gp but dr Google has dire warnings of social reclusion if drastic actions aren't taken in childhood.

Does anyone have any advice?

OldBeanbagz Wed 26-Mar-14 14:30:38

My advice would be to catch it in the bud. And if that means going to the GP or to your HV, then do it.

Am facing the same prospect with a 9yo who despite everyone around me saying he'll grow out of it, isn't getting any better sad

I don't think he spoke to anyone for the first term of school either but he has since managed to form a small close group of friends.

Does your DD talk to her teacher/TA?

bamboobutton Wed 26-Mar-14 15:25:48

Dd says she told one of the teachers about her new shoes this week, and also told another one about something else, forgotten what it was though.

I think I'll arrange to talk to her key worker next week as dd only goes on Mon and Tue and I'll ask if dd has made any progress on the talking issue, if she says no real change I'll book a gp appt or find out who the HV is where we are.

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