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Behaviour/development

What's your opinion on dummies?

54 replies

Spaghettinetti · 25/03/2014 18:13

Hi there, I'm expecting numero uno in about 5 weeks and really can't work out how I feel about dummies... I'd love to hear how babies get on without dummies, so if you're happy to share your stories, I'd love to read/hear them!

Thanks :-)

OP posts:
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thatstoast · 25/03/2014 18:22

Will you be breastfeeding? if so, I think the its not advisable to use a dummy for newborns.

I use one to help my baby settle to sleep at night.

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2cats2many · 25/03/2014 18:25

Lifesaver. From about 6 months old, it became a bedtime only thing which really helped both to settle to sleep (it became a 'marker' for bedtime along with their bedbag and cuddly.

The dummy fairy took them away when both of my children were about 2 and a half.

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CMOTDibbler · 25/03/2014 18:28

Never used one

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FrancesGlass · 25/03/2014 18:33

I used a dummy from day 2 (given to DS by a helpful MW on the recovery ward!) and am still successfully breastfeeding 14 months later. Didn't affect latch or interest in the slightest. But we do only use Nuk brand latex dummies (purchased online).

He now only uses it at bedtime and when he's in the carseat (which is only about once a month.)

I love the dummy. But DS is a very sucky baby and would be happily attached to my nipple all night if not for the dummy.

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FrancesGlass · 25/03/2014 18:34

*DS has used it the dummy from day 2 - not me! Grin

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evertonmint · 25/03/2014 18:57

Some babies need the extra comfort, from suckinb and some of them will never find their thumbs so need a dummy.

If you breast feed you may find your baby gets enough comfort sucking from that, or they may need more.

I tried with DS as even after he would delatch he still needed more comfort sucking. He hated a dummy though and at about 12 weeks found his thumb and we were finally sorted!

DD never needed as much comfort sucking, getting what she needed from a breast feed, so I never even tried a dummy. Found her thumb at about 4months.

My issue with dummies is when people (often older well-meaning but ill-informed relatives) think you have to use them as an alternative to breast feeding as babies shouldn't comfort suck you. It's called a dummy as it's a dummy boob FFS! If you breast feed and are happy with your baby comfort sucking and they are happy, you don't need a dummy. I also hate it when people just shove them at toddlers as a quick fix when they're upset, rather than working out what the issue is, or let a toddler suck one at all times of day, talk through it etc.

But if a baby needs more comfort than mum's boobs can give, or if they are FF so maybe needing some extra comfort sucking, or if they never find their thumb and need an alternative, I don't see any problem at all and certainly don't judge people who use them with their babies

Be open minded about them. You and your baby will work out if a dummy works for you.

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Lozzapops · 25/03/2014 19:13

We have been using a dummy since about week 3. I wasn't able to breastfeed, but clearly had a very sucky baby - she has only just recently sopped screaming when her bottle is taken away - not through hunger but because she wants to keep sucking. She is 5 months old now.

She was also a real crier (I know all babies cry, but she has been to the extreme). It was a real lifesaver. I took it away during the day time when she was just over 4 months old, as she started to become a little more settled in general. She still has it for naps and night time sleep, which to be honest, I wish she didn't, but I can't face taking it away. She won't sleep without it unless in the pushchair or car. Think we will be doing the "dummy fairy" when she is aged 2ish.

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bec0901 · 25/03/2014 19:44

I worried about using a dummy with a sucky newborn. But couldn't find any scientific evidence for so-called nipple confusion.

Great article:
healthland.time.com/2012/04/30/bring-back-the-binky-study-finds-pacifiers-actually-boost-breast-feeding/

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Oriunda · 25/03/2014 19:56

DS was mixed fed, never had a dummy and never sucked his thumb. He has a Prince Lionheart Silkie cloth which is his bedtime comforter.

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jamtoast12 · 25/03/2014 19:58

Dd1 never had a dummy but dd2 did. Dd2 was much more settled and easier to settle as a consequence. I got rid by 18 month old though as nothing worse than a 3-4 year old with a dummy.

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5madthings · 25/03/2014 20:00

My first three never needed a dummy, number four sucked his thdumb and still does at just 6yrs Old, number five has a dummy as she needed it and at least I can take it away when I don't want her to have it!

They can be lifesavers but it depends in the baby :)

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SqutterNutBaush · 25/03/2014 20:00

My 13 month old has had one since 6 days old as she was comfort sucking CONSTANTLY and midwife advised, she's still breastfeeding now and never had any issues :)

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Discobugsacha · 25/03/2014 20:04

I think they're good if your baby will take one. Mine bever would despite lots of trying!
I think they should just be see at sleep time though- toddlers running about with a dummy in their mouth look silly!

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Discobugsacha · 25/03/2014 20:05

*excuse typos!

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WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs · 25/03/2014 20:06

Ds rejected dummy, I wanted him to have one at the time but I couldnt be more pleased with how he settles, slept through from a very young age, goes down awake etc.

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TheScience · 25/03/2014 20:08

Big fan, especially as you can get rid of them when you want! I've never met anyone over about 4 who still has a dummy whereas I know a few older children and even adult thumbsuckers.

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Only1scoop · 25/03/2014 20:09

Dd had one from about 2 months to 18 months.

Only ever for bedtime and naps when lying down/sleeping.

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MiaSparrow · 25/03/2014 20:16

DD never had a dummy (we tried, in desperation, and failed at about 16 weeks - she just wouldn't take it), but neither did she "find her thumb". It IS possible for a child to do neither. The relentlessness of breastfeeding comes as a shock to most new mums, but I had it easy (read VERY lucky) in that it wasn't at all painful, so in many ways, I was the dummy. For 10 months. Hmm

As glad as I am that I've not had the battle to remove a dummy, I think if/when DC2 turns up I might try not to be such a martyr and make life slightly easier on myself. But that's glorious hindsight!

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GwennieF · 25/03/2014 20:34

My two never had a dummy, both BF, both found their thumbs within a few weeks of being born. They still suck them when they're tired- they're 3 & 5 BTW. I was a thumb sucker too - dunno if that makes any difference.

The reason we didn't go for a dummy was that I would have ended up having to sterilise the buggering thing constantly and would have ended up getting stressed about forgetting them.... Tis laziness that kept me away from them really!

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PirateJones · 25/03/2014 20:41

Anything I post in this thread will be hypocritical, as I don't mind dummies with babies but don't like them in toddlers mouths….

… and as I type the is a 6 year old up in bed with one.

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Ludways · 25/03/2014 20:47

Both bf, neither had dummies, neither sucked their thumbs. This was the case for both me and my sister too. People will tell you they definitely will suck their thumbs if they don't have a dummy, that's not the case.

No opinion on what other people do though.

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Blondlittlelady · 25/03/2014 20:48

Dd is ebf & has a dummy. Started at about day 2. Caused no problems.

Whatever works!

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cravingcake · 25/03/2014 21:03

My DS took a dummy about 8 weeks, it was a long day and after trying everything else it was the magic 'off' button and he settled immediately. We tried to limit it for sleeping and when he was unwell (needing the comfort) but there were times when he would not let go of it. We did dummy fairy not long after his 2nd birthday and it was great as it was instantly gone.

I now face the problem that my DD (9 weeks) has found her thumb and I'm wondering if I offer her a dummy instead as I was a thumb sucker well into my teens and know just how hard it is to stop sucking a thumb as its always there.

My advice would be to be open minded about it, some babies wont take one no matter how hard to you try.

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lechers · 25/03/2014 21:08

Dummies are so much better than thumbs.

You can take away a dummy, but you can't take away a thumb. I teach A levels, and have at least one student who sits there in class, sucking her thumb and she's 17.

Also, a friend's husband is a consultant dentist, and I once asked him, and he said definitely the dummy. So long as the dummy is taken away before the top teeth come through, you won't damage the teeth. Indeed, he said he had never seen any dental problems caused by a dummy. However the same is not true for thumbs, and indeed damage to teeth can be caused by thumb sucking, and in the worst cases children may have to have their jaws broken and reset. That was enough to convince me.

Finally, I breastfed (until DD was 18 months) but she was a very sucky baby, and would suck for a very long time. I would never have carried on breastfeeding without the dummy. It really did save me.

That said, I also hate seeing toddlers walking round with dummies in their mouths. There is no need for it. My DDs had their dummies until they were around 3 years old, but only ever for bed. If they wanted their dummy for a sneaky suck during the day I just used to say 'Oh are you tired, do you want me to put you to bed?' and it quickly came out again. Most of my friends thought my DD never had a dummy, because we never used them out and about. They were strictly for sleeping only.

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JadziaSnax · 25/03/2014 21:11

DS had a dummy until he was about 3 months old, then he found his fingers. He still sucks his fingers now when he needs a bit of extra comfort, he's 7. DD is a dummy refuser, she likes to chew on the corner of a muslin cloth instead.

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