Ds pushing other children at preschool

[YesIveNameChanged]

I went to collect ds from preschool yesterday and his key worker asked me to come in for a minute. She then told me that ds had started pushing the other children during his sessions last week, and that he was continuing to do it throughout yesterday's session. I assume they hadn't mentioned it earlier as its out of character for ds and they were trying to ascertain if he was just having an off day.

My ds has no speech (he's 3.4) and the preschool has been fantastic for him as they have a dedicated SAL programme that his current SALT delivers and his key worker assists with.

Key worker told me the approach they are taking with ds is to say to him "hands down" or similar, rather than constantly telling him no or telling him off as she is concerned that ds does not understand how his actions are affecting others (rather than him just being naughty) and they don't want the other children to become aware that ds is constantly being reprimanded.

I fully support the way the preschool want to handle ds' behaviour and have said we will use the same methods at home, however ds very rarely behaves like that at home. He is generally very gentle with his younger dd, apart from when they get a bit excited playing together and he forgets how much bigger he is that her.

Just feeling a bit sad as ds already "stands out" from his lack of speech, I really don't
want other children being upset by him and him becoming ostracised by his classmates. Other than reinforcing the methods suggested by preschool what else can I do to help him? I think a lot of the behaviour stems from frustration at not being able to communicate effectively with the other children. We have taught him makaton sign language to give him a form of communication, but obviously the other children still won't necessarily understand what ds is trying to say.

[YesIveNameChanged]

Shameless bump

[blueberryupsidedown]

The preschool is doing the right thing. It's a phase, probably, and many children with good speech development will do the same at one point or another. Try to see if one of the nursery workers could observe him for an entire session and try to see what triggers his behaviour - maybe he wants to play with the other children but doesn't know how. Maybe he it's his way of trying to get their attention. Maybe he struggles with other children interfering with his play. Either way, it's important to try and find the trigger.

A good idea might be to have a quiet corner, with a small table, and a couple of times a week the teacher organises a small group of three/four children to sit with you son to play a specific game/toy. This way the other children will get to know him, and he might feel more able to play with them.

[YesIveNameChanged]

Thanks for the response. As far as I'm aware the preschool seem to think his behaviour is mainly when he wants to join in with the other children, and I think they would agree with the idea that he doesn't really know how too.

I think the suggestion of a quieter activity sounds like a good one and I will suggest it to his key worker at his next session.