violent and aggressive 2.9 yr odl

[knat]

my dd can be a really loving little girl and generally quite good. However she has v violent outbursts which result in her repeatedly hitting me. Yesterday she climbed up me wrapped her legs around my neck and repeatedly clouted me around the head. I managed to get her off (she's v strong for sucvh a little skinny thing) I don't know what to do about it - nothing seems to work - time out, shouting, ignoring. I'm at the end of my tether with it and feel quite upset and almost abused at the end of such outbursts. The aggressin does seem to coincide when her teeth are coming through - it seems to be much worse at that time (thank god they're nearly all there now) anyone else had similar experience? Thanks

[fussymummy]

Hi knat kids certainly try us!!!!
I have three of the little darlings. Aged 8,5,&3.
Mine haven't got as violent as yours sounds, but we've had plenty of times when they've hit, punched, spat at, bitten etc.
A lot of kids go through this stage at some point.
I know that doesn't help you, when you're being beaten by a kid.
If her teeth are hurting her, don't be afraid to give her some calpol.
It'll ease the pain for her.
Also, if she's doing it at other times, then look at what shes eating.
Most food has some sort of additive and they don't all agree with children.
I had a long chat with my health visitor as my kids when through an awful stage.

She told me to cut out as many additives as i could, especially colours.
Some of the worst offenders are prawn flavoured crisps and skips, lots of snack food.
Those pink wafer biscuits that kids love to mush into your furniture!!!

We also did as much home cooking as time allowed!

Hope some of these tips might help.

GOOD LUCK

[knat]

thanks fussymummy. I do giver her nurofen when shes bad with it as calpol doesn't seem to do much as obviously i have to be careful with nurofen As far as diet goes she doesn't do too bad - most meals are cooked from scratch although she does have chocolate some days - will have to see if there's any connection. I think she;s generally frustrated. Very active and quite intelligent and i think she's just unsure why she can't do things and how to put things across????? Will keep an eye on diet and hope to god these teeth are through v shortly!!!! She starts preschool in September and i'm hoping that will make a difference to.

[fussymummy]

Could she be bored??
At times i don't spend enough time with my kids, but when they're naughty they automatically get attention!!!!
Kids are super clever!!!
Know how to twist us round and round.
We need time for us as well, but they don't understand that.
At the moment my three are upstairs having a disco and trashing there rooms.
They don't realise that later they'll have to help sort it out!!!
Gives me a bit of quiet computer time for me!!!

[knat]

i don't know that it happens when she is bored. I do spend quite a lot of time with her as she is an only child and i am a sahm. It just seems to be out of the blue. Some of it is obviously part of tantrum when she cant do something or has to do something she doesn't want to do. Today's been a good day tho so fingers crossed!!!!

[PinkPeregrine]

Hi Knat I really understand your problem. My son is now 10, but when he was younger his aggression was really scary at times. A normally loving little boy, he could within minutes turn into a dervish for no apparent reason. I've been hit, bitten, scratched, kicked ....need I go on! I couldn't work out where the aggression was coming from, and I was getting worried that as he was getting bigger I wouldn't be able to cope with him.

What I discovered was it was lack of food that made the difference, not necessarily the type of food, (I don't necessarily think additives make the difference). My son has never shown much of an interest in food, and will often say he's not hungry. By allowing him just to eat as much as he wanted seemed to be the problem. Once I introduced a timetable of regular meals and snack times (I never allow him to go more than 2 hours without eating something), and making sure he actually eats what I give him, has made all the difference. (And no ... he hasn't got fat!)

As they get older believe me it does get better. Hang on in there.

[PinkPeregrine]

Hi Knat I really understand your problem. My son is now 10, but when he was younger his aggression was really scary at times. A normally loving little boy, he could within minutes turn into a dervish for no apparent reason. I've been hit, bitten, scratched, kicked ....need I go on! I couldn't work out where the aggression was coming from, and I was getting worried that as he was getting bigger I wouldn't be able to cope with him.

What I discovered was it was lack of food that made the difference, not necessarily the type of food, (I don't necessarily think additives make the difference). My son has never shown much of an interest in food, and will often say he's not hungry. By allowing him just to eat as much as he wanted seemed to be the problem. Once I introduced a timetable of regular meals and snack times (I never allow him to go more than 2 hours without eating something), and making sure he actually eats what I give him, has made all the difference. (And no ... he hasn't got fat!)

As they get older believe me it does get better. Hang on in there.

[knat]

thanks pinkperegrine. This really rings a bell. I've often said that her tantrums are worse when i think she's hungry. Again shes not that bothered about meals. Although she has regular meal times and i usually find she's at her best after tea time (ie when she's eaten reasonably well). I do think there is a connection there. Thanks for the reassurance